Friday, August 16, 2013

Feeling Ashamed to Call Myself a Little

Two years ago, when I first started my blog I was ecstatic to come across the DD/lg community on Tumblr. I looked forward to learning more about this branch of the D/s lifestyle, explore myself, and make more friends. I had made some awesome friends over the years.I felt that devoting a blog to learning about myself and tracking my training would be great to have along side with Fetlife. I definitely wasn’t the first DD/lg blog on here, but at the time there really wasn’t that many. The majority of D/s blogs were Master/pet or Master (Sir)/slave. Even my sister sub had a blog at the time though she was not a little, she was my Daddy’s pet.

I longed for the day that the community would thrive and there would be a tag devoted to us. Now that we have that tag, I’ve watched it go downhill and turn into a cesspool. I browse through the tag in hopes of reading personal experiences and watching people develop. Now all I see are spam of pictures (sometimes irrelevant), whining about not having a Daddy, and just general stuff that would be considered spam in a tag. Just today in the tag, I saw guy post a picture of his leg. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why? What’s the point of tagging that in #DDlg and #Daddy Dom? Ok, so you’re a Dom, but who cares to see your legs while you’re on a train? Just tag that under a personal tag for your blog. Our tags are a cesspool.

This shit isn’t cute. It’s those type of girls (but within our community) who give outsiders the impression that we’re all like this. You don’t get to act like brat, get your way, and get spoiled rotten. Like Daddy and I have expressed in the past, no other type of Dom would let that slip.
Well, that’s because DD/lg is oversaturated. It’s like beginner mode for a lot of girls lately. Because they think they can have the whole D/s overtone while still getting to be a spoiled brat. No other forms of D/s would put up with brattiness to such a degree. Honestly, I’d class a bunch of littles as kinksters, because it’s like, “Yay, I get to be kinky in bed, but out of it, it’s my Daddy’s job to pamper me while I can be as much of a brat as I want!”. And that’s not lifestyle. That’s just being kinky*
*Mind you, there’s nothing wrong with being a kinkster.

That’s not how a D/s relationship works.You want something? You earn it with good behavior. Too many girls are joining the community based off the idea of having a sugar daddy or an older man to boss around. Fetlife groups have expressed this issue too; lots of girls claim to be littles just to mooch off Daddies who looking for a real submissive girl. If you want to act that way, go ahead, but don’t call yourself a little, you give the rest of us a bad name. What once was an issue with Masters and slaves, has now become an issue for us.

Let’s not forget the girls who express that they’re a little because they have Daddy issues or because they’re intrigued by Lolita and think the dynamic is based off of that novel. While a lot of Daddies and littles do roleplay Humbert and Lolita, and that’s fine because it’s their relationship, but it’s not the core of the dynamic. It’s not what we’re all about. And one of the most annoying things that a little can have slapped on them is that they have daddy issues. The majority of us do not have daddy issues. We’re not looking for a man to replace our biological father. I have a wonderful (biological) father and we had a wonderful relationship as I was growing up.

I have a separate Tumblr and it’s not uncommon to see posts talking poorly about our community and littles because of the wanna-be’s in the group or because OP is just misinformed and closed-minded in general. But it’s the wanna-be’s that make me feel ashamed, when I see other express how we appear to them. I am ashamed, not of myself but that I identify as such.

I don’t think a lot of newbies realize that being a little is still a D/s dynamic within a relationship. Daddies are still Doms. They still want a woman to teach, guide, love, nurture, and so on. You do not get to deceive a Daddy Dom by calling yourself a little because you want to jump in the band wagon, look edgy by calling a guy “daddy” in bed, or just looking for someone to spoil you. If you don’t want to submit, fine; you can still call a guy “daddy” in bed, it’s not even that uncommon. If you want someone to spoil you, find a sugar daddy. But don’t take advantage of Doms and get their hopes up.

You also aren't as special as you think...

If you send me (or anyone I follow) a message asking, “Can I be you Daddy?” or “Can I be your little girl?” I’m going to laugh at you.
You deserve to be laughed at too because it shows that you’re desperate and pathetic. It also shows that you haven’t the slightest idea about the D/s dynamic. Why on Earth would you send an anonymous message to a stranger asking to give yourself to them? First off, sending it anonymously shows that you’re a coward. But more importantly… Do you realize how dangerous that is? Did you even bother to stop and think that you have had no chance to get to know this person and bond with them?

Do you honestly think you’re that special that by sending a message like that will make someone will automaticlly want to be taken under your wing or take your under their wing. No. D/s dynamic is not roleplay. It is not something to take lightly. If you want to roleplay it with someone, fine, but don’t waste real Doms’ and subs’ time. This it no a matter of gaining pet names for each other.  When you submit or receive someone’s submission it’s because they trust you and deem you worthy. You actually have to get to know the other person first. It’s not just about compatibility. It’s about trust. You don’t even know this person, and if you claim to know them it’s probably only based on what they post or how they respond to message, which is nothing to base an opinion off of.

Also if the person you messaged is already taken, it shows that you’re an idiot who can’t read, have some super ego that needs to be shot down, or you didn’t bother to even try to learn about the person.


  1. I really enjoyed reading this, I stopped using tumblr 3-4 months ago for this reason.


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