Friday, August 16, 2013

Just some thoughts on respect and safety towards camgirls

Originally written April 19, 2013.

So as I’ve stated a lot lately, I’ve been doing cam shows for a week now. I think I’ve talked much more about it than any real kink or DDlg related posts lately, and I apologize for that. I do have some issues I just want to speak about based on my experience and encounters the past few days.

While I enjoy what I do and have had some great conversations and even made friends, I’ve come to learn first hand that there’s a lot of disrespect towards camgirls. Did I expect to be treated like a goddess? No, after all, I am catering to horny men. But I feel like a lot of men look at us women as nothing more than entertainment. They forget that we have opinions, limits, and feelings.

Under our cam feed, the models (that’s what we’re referred to) have a bio page. This is where we talk about ourselves, address rules, limits, and other info. My profile is pretty straightforward and to the point and my info is listed in order of importance. Not only that but my list of rules really isn’t that long either:
Rules
1. Call me Doll. I’m not “your girl” or “baby”. I’m not yours at all.
2. Be respectful or be banned.
3. If you want a video or picture request, a tip is required.
4. If I say no to something, that means no. Don’t be a jerk.
5. I will not RP with you or view your cam. I’m not interested in you.
6. I will not meet up with you in person ever either. So don’t ask.
It’s no surprise but this tends to go unread and I have to repeat myself over and over again because people are too lazy to take less than 5 minutes from jerking off to read my bio page. Constantly I and the other girls get the following questions (minus the last 2, those are personal ones):
"Cam2cam?"
"Private shows?"
"Are you taken?"
"I’m in *insert city* Florida if you ever need a real man/good time."
"Pm me bb, I wanna ageplay with you"
"Are you really 19?"
 When I reject them, I get called a “cunt”, “whore”, and “bitch”. Thankfully Cliff and Daddy (when joins) keep these nuts at bay but that’s beside the point. Just because I get naked on cam does not mean I’m here to solely please you. If that’s what you’re looking, get off your lazy ass and hire yourself a prostitute.
I’ve come across men who asked me if I sell myself for sex and how much I could be purchased for.
Man: “How much can I buy you for??”
Me: “I’m not for sale and I’m not interested in you. You should read the bio.”
Man: “Fine, then I’ll just find myself another whore.”
Your butthurt is showing. I am not your personal sex doll. It’s not my problem that you can’t get laid. Maybe if you were more respectful towards women, you would actually have a girlfriend or whatever you’re seeking.

I’d also like to point out the lack of concern for a model’s safety. I don’t engage in dangerous acts in my shows. I try to incorporate acts of kink and aspects of BDSM in my shows with what limited supplies I have. I get that people have interesting fetishes and look forward to seeing a kinky girl on the site; I was told most girls on there are vanilla anyways. But I highly doubt the majority of kinksters have any sort of basic understanding of the ethics of BDSM - Safe, sane, and consensual. Being asked to choke myself is fine. I love breath play and I love a grip around my neck, don’t get me wrong. What I will not comply to is your request of “harder” over and over again or “use a belt”, that’s dangerous. I do not have enough experience in breath play or choke play to know how long is too long for choking or how strong of a grip is too strong; the only signs I have are a change in skin color and feeling tingly or lightheaded. I do not want to pass out during a show just so you can get off.

I’m there for fun and to make some money. I don’t care how many tokens you have, if you’re an idiot, I do not have to be nice to you and I don’t want your money.

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