While with some friends a few days ago, I was told that my rules make it seem like my Daddy is a control freak and that it seems that I'm not capable of controlling my life. I was slightly offended and I feel that a lot of people who don't understand D/s probably think this, but at the same time I can't blame them because they just don't understand and they admitted this. Maybe they don't understand the appeal of power exchange and that it's forced on by the Dom. Who knows. I just want to elaborate on this and speak from my experience.
I think a common misconception is that being submissive is seen as being a slave and that all rights are gone. Slaves are known for their total power exchange and that includes losing the ability to speak up for themselves. Not every submissive is a slave but I digress...
As a submissive, I have a lot more power than one might think. I may not be the one in constant control but if it weren't for me and my decisions, my Daddy would not own me and or anything. I decide with my Daddy what rules I want in place for me. Most rules are set for my safety, my well-being, or it's something we both agreed on due to a common interest. But I have every right to disagree on a rule he suggests or question why such a rule needs to be in place. I can ask for a rule to be changed or come with a compromise. I also decide how deep I want to submit; hell, I even get to say if this person is worth owning such a precious gift in the first place. I personally wouldn't mind a total power exchange at some point but for now, I am happy with how it is.
It takes a lot of trust to submit and to even do a power exchange in the relationship. Power exchanges are a sliding scale; how far the exchange is taken all depends on the couple. The sub has to be willing to give up however much power, it's not the Dom's decision. They can't say, "I want you to give up all your power and submit to me fully." That's a dickmove and enough of a reason for the sub to run to the hills. The sub's comfort should be the main concern of the Dom, and that means letting her decide when she feels ready to take things a step further.
Being a submissive does not mean you are powerless, it's actually just the opposite.