Wednesday, May 14, 2014

My Love for Humiliation and Degradation

Lately it seems that my taste for humiliation has increase. In the past week, Daddy and I have had two playdates that have pushed me further than before. The first involved a lot of verbal degradation, such as being called “stupid bitch” and similar names, at my request of course. Daddy constantly checked up on me to make sure that he didn’t take it too far, but it wasn’t long until he had to stop because he admitted that he felt bad doing it; however, I really liked it.

Two Days ago I asked if I could watch Daddy getting off to porn. This is an idea that has come up in the past but mainly as a way for me to serve him with no strings attached at that moment; He’d watch porn and force me to give him a blowjob but without my presence truly being acknowledged. Since we’re not living together, we can’t do this yet but I still like to think about it, it wasn’t until I brought up the idea of just watching Him get off to porn without paying attention to me.
We’ve attempted this once before in the past and I must not have been in the right mindset at the time because, despite asking it, my jealousy kicked in and I got really upset. Maybe it was because he was watching a cam model instead of porn, I don’t know.

I called Him up on Monday and we started playing like usual, I strip down at His command and tease Him a bit, and then He pushes down His pants. He started touching Himself and then I asked, “Can I watch you get off to porn again?” He agreed and told me to give Him a moment while He looked for something. He continued and I laid there quietly, rubbing my clit as I watched Him pretend that I didn’t exist.

It wasn’t long until He started teasing me though, reminding me that He was getting off to another girl and not just porn. I could feel my blood beginning to boil again but I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t make my pussy wet. He continued by saying that He’d chain me to a corner, far enough away from Him, so that I could only watch His pleasure and not contribute to it.
He then took it a step further by twisting the fantasy a bit and suggesting that instead of porn, He’d make me watch Him fuck another girl in front of me. I playfully began to whimper, playing along, and asked Him if my pussy wasn’t good enough. He responded by saying, “Sometimes I just want to try another.”

I begged Him to let me have a toy and He asked, “Why should I,” along with pointing out that my pleasure was none of his concern at the moment. I continued begging and He told me that I’d be allowed to have my dildo but that’s it.

After two pornos, He decided that it was time to check up on me and pamper me. He asked how I was feeling and I said that I felt turned on but conflicted. I explained that while I liked the thought of him getting off to porn, I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about Him fucking another girl in front of me. He explained that He wouldn’t do it without us discussing it first, which I knew, but hearing that soothed me a bit. I also told Him that some of the things He said had struck a nerve, but I reminded myself that it was just part of the scene. He admitted that He was playing along with my fantasy but also seeing how far he could go with it, which I had no problem with.

After discussing this, He teased me and called me a slut for liking such things. The scene then changed as He said, “Come to Daddy, babygirl,” and I knew it was my turn to have the spotlight and it was about our pleasure and not just His.

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