Sunday, January 4, 2015

A Note for You

Dear Daddy,

It's funny how before this trip everyone warned me. I know they meant well by saying these because they worry and care about me and I don't blame them, there are people who get screwed over by online relationships. Perhaps I am naive but everyone asked me similar questions: "What if he's nothing like his online persona?" "What if he's abusive?" "What if you simply don't get along?" As much as I didn't want to believe that, I had accepted the fact that these could've been possibilities despite my trust in you. I was firm in my belief that you were honest these past 4 years though. They couldn't have been more wrong though because you were exactly the same in person, if not even sweeter.

On my way there I imagined how I'd react upon walking out of baggage claim and seeing you for the first time. I had envisioned either dropping my stuff and running to you, hugging you tightly; screaming Master or Daddy and having my arms spread apart; or not making a big scene but greeting you with the love and affection we've been waiting for. Unfortunately I'm horrifically awkward and when I saw you walking off the bus I made some silly remark but we walked toward each other, hugged, and shared our first kiss.

You were a wonderful host. While I insisted beforehand that I'd act your little house maid, you told me to relax and enjoy myself because I was a guest. I made some little mistakes when helping cleaning (like when I poured out the bad soup in the sink) but you didn't yell at me, you took care of it and told me for the future how to properly do things. You didn't seem to mind the mess I made in your room with clothes, we just laughed it off and you insisted you were worse. You took care of me and looked out for my well-being. When I got sick you didn't make a fuss, not even when I got you sick too. Instead you took me to the pharmacy to pick up something. You reminded me of daily responsibilities, you set an alarm to remind me every day to take my medicines. As the alarm went off you'd sweetly say, "Medicine time, love." It was absolutely adorable. When I had attacks you didn't get mad at me, you held my hand of rubbed my back and took me away from the area to breathe and calm down. You encouraged me to let my attacks pass and continue to learn to deal with them rather than rely on my medicine unless they got that bad.

You were just excited as I were the day my collar arrived in the mail. I remember you unwrapping it and showing it to me, then doing your sweet and loving speech about your ownership over me as you put the collar on me. When it was time for daily bath, you reminded me to come to you before going so you could take off the collar and then as soon as I got back you'd say, "Aren't you forgetting something, love," and you'd put it back on me.

I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas than one spent with you for the first time. I know in the future that we'll have many more to come and they may be more eventful than how we spent Christmas day, but I had so much fun. I couldn't have asked for a better New Year than spending it with your friends (your family) and feeling accepted among the group. I felt a little bad that everyone had to speak English because of me but it definitely made me feel more included and your friends are great, interesting people.

I loved sight-seeing with you, even if it just meant walking around your hometown. I loved our trips to the center of your town and going to the malls, walking along the river, walking up and down the street, and visiting the Christmas villages. When we were in Budapest I had fun getting lost looking for the teahouse or getting exhausted when walking toward Castle District. I still get a chuckle when I think how we walked up the hill and sat on a park and you remarked that Buda Castle was hard to miss because it's at the top of a hill and I look at the horizon and pointed out, "What about that hill over there? That kind of looks like a castle." Thankfully we were going up the right hill but your reaction was hilarious. And then I laugh even more when I remember that we could've simply take a bus up the hill and saved our breaths, but you know what? It was a great experience and work out. We simply took our time and I enjoyed the buildings around me.

This trip proved our love for each other as well as our compatibility, but more importantly it proved to me that I made the right decision giving myself to you. I know without a doubt that unless we were to extend our pack and bring in a third member, there is no one else that I'd want to spend the next 50+ years of my life with. You are simply amazing and I love you.

Thank you for everything. I can't wait to see you this summer!

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