Friday, January 9, 2015

Love, Sex, and Being Owned

If you've been a reader from the beginning of this blog, you'll know that Daddy and I are a polyamorous couple. We were actually originally a triad, when I met Daddy he already had a girlfriend/pet and I came along. That was my first introduction to polyamory and here I am now, 4 years later, identifying as a poly person. You can read more about my polyamorous adventures under my polyamory tag.

I am very open about my sexuality and needs. Daddy is also very understanding about these needs. He's told me time and time again that if I want to hook up or enter another relationship with someone, as long as it's discussed before hand, it's alright. As much as I've hated to admit it, I like hooking up. I very rarely have sex with guys because my interest in men fluctuates constantly but I adore women. I have a girlfriend that I've been close with for a year now and I have friend that I do camming shows with and Daddy never feels threatened or jealous.

There's a common misconception that polyamory is simply swinging but I like to think of polyamory like this (please click it to see it full-size):
Polyamory at its roots is the ability and opportunity to love multiple people at once, and with this does come sex. How is polyamory not cheating? The answer to that is the fact that there is consent between the partners about the side relationships or sex life. One partner may not want to know all the dirty details of what went on but they agreed and discussed the situation with their partner. Cheating does just the opposite, there is no discussion or consent. The act of cheating is going behind your partner's back. It's a breach of trust and honesty which I believe are core foundations to any relationship.

So I'm having casual sex with a friend, no feelings attached, how does Daddy not get jealous? Does that mean that he's not able to fulfill all my needs? No, he does. Let's put it this way, Daddy is my favorite food but I still enjoy other foods on the side. To compare Daddy to others is like apples and oranges, I enjoy these people in my life for different reasons because they all have something unique to share. Daddy doesn't get jealous because he knows that even if I do sleep with other people, whether I love them or not, there's no threat to his place in my heart or his position in my life. He still has ownership of my heart and my body, that's why I need permission before playing with other people.

Has being in a polyamorous relationship stopped me from fucking up? Unfortunately it hasn't. Miscommunication and misunderstandings have happened in the past, along with other factors. Unfortunately I've cheated on many partners and I suppose old habits die hard, but most of those occurrences were because I fell involve with 2 people at once (one being someone I was dating) and eventually had to make a decision. Had I known about this lifestyle sooner then maybe I would've broken less hearts in the past. But being polyamorous has opened me up to seeing people in a different light and become more comfortable about my feelings and sexuality. This doesn't mean that I look at every person as a potential relationship, but I don't have to feel bad about having crushes or feelings for someone after we've gotten close.

Polyamory gives me freedom. And when I hear about and see successful poly houses it gives me hope. What could be wrong with having multiple people love and care for you the same way that one person does? The more the merrier. And while Daddy and I aren't actively looking for another partner, a succesful triad in the future would be nice and welcomed.



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