I used Collarme a few years back to explore my Domme side. I was solely looking for online roleplays because I didn't feel educated or responsible enough to own someone but I digress. I used to get some of the most awful messages from submissive men, not disrespectful but they lacked self respect. I had one guy asked me to cam with him on Skype to watch him kill himself and he'd give me all his possessions. And of course I had the occasional Doms message me trying to "make me" submit to them.
So I joined Collarspace similar to how I did with Fetlife. I picked out a new username, still one that's sexual, filled out my profile (this time more in depth than on Fetlife but not as detailed as my personal ad), and uploaded some pictures: the first one was nude with my face, but my arm covering my breasts, second picture was bra and panties, third picture was just my face, and the fourth picture was my with kitty ears nude on the bead showing off my back and bum.
In my profile I stated:
I'm an 18 year old babygirl in search of a loving Daddy. I have never been owned before and am looking for a Daddy who's patient, loving, and willing to help me learn about myself. This would be my first time exploring DD/lg. I'm looking for guidance and someone to please, love, and serve. I'd also love rules to help keep me in line, but I promise I'm not too bratty and I don't bite much.
Since there aren't really any groups like Fetlife dedicated to themed personals (like the DD/lg personals group I posted in), your profile is all you've got to make your point and you're free-game for anyone.
A day later this is what my feed looked like (take note of the pages):
Since that time I now have 21 pages of messages as of 11:05 pm.
The good :
So what about the rest of the messages?
They were mainly horny, conversation starters, compliments, or people who couldn't bother to read my profile. They were a lot of just friendly messages, so that's always nice. I didn't really talk much about my vanilla interests on my profile so that's a mistake that I made, so it's no wonder I got a lot of "Hey how are you?s". But the majority answering to my profile were like the bad section.
Like I mentioned before, when looking for a partner, I really enjoy the other person taking the time to read about me and assess if we're compatible, then message me and tell me about themselves. I like effort. If you give me your time, I'll give you my time. Because as an unowned sub, I owe no one anything.
Here are some things I've noticed:
- Most of the men on this site ignored the fact that I was looking for a Daddy. A lot of them insisted on making me their slave.
- Couples will message you even if you state that you're not looking for couples or a poly household
- If you read a message and don't respond to it, you're accused of "catfishing"
- You will be demanded to do a Yahoo or Skype call otherwise you're a fake
- Most men are Masters (nothing wrong with that at all)
- Many refer to littles as "daughters" (and granddaughter), giving me the impression they're seeking incest roleplay
- Many are looking for 24/7 dynamics, which isn't exactly great for beginners
- Lots of entitlement
- Relocation is brought up even before the conversation starts (this happened sometimes on Fetlife too)
I'll also point out that I don't like men who approach single littles saying "Come to Daddy/*insert action* Daddy." Do not address us like we're yours. The simply fact is that at that moment, they are not my Daddy. I will not view them as my Daddy or treat them like my Daddy. They're a stranger. But this is a person pet peeve.
A lot of these men have seriously inflated egos and think they're the cream of the crop. If you point this out or state that you're not interested, many will throw hissy fits. Here's an example: someone got mad at me so they made an account with the same name, same location, age and then sent me a message:
Compared to Fetlife, I haven't received any messages sending me links to learn how to protect myself during my search, like I got from some people on Fetlife. But then again, you should have basic knowledge before searching for a Daddy or any other Dom, so this is understandable. Do you don't just bake a cake without knowing the recipe.
If you're seriously looking for a partner, use this site with caution. Be sure you make it clear what you're looking for, especially in terms of a power exchange because most of these guys are looking for TPEs, which are not safe for beginners. Make sure you find someone who will take the vanilla part of your relationship just as seriously as the D/s one. And if someone's asking about a relocation from the beginning, they're probably taking things way too fast. I personally wouldn't ask that until I've at least talk with the person enough to say I know and trust them.
If you want some good laughs at how disrespectful, entitled, and desperate some people are then knock yourself out.
I still prefer Fetlife to Collarme.