Monday, October 28, 2013

Sharing is Caring?

Something that I've always seen as a hard limit for myself has been sharing or auctioning, especially to another man. I couldn't fathom the idea of being intimate with another man partially due to the fact that I have little interest in men, or so I thought. I also strongly disliked the idea of being given to just anybody who lusted over me, even though I was well aware that Daddy would never allow this... But lately, my thoughts on the topic have changed somewhat and I found myself very confused both in terms of my sexuality and what turns me on.

Since I was 12 or so, I realized that I was interested in girls. Until I met Daddy, I was fairly ashamed of that. I didn't grow up in a overly serious homophobic family (That's actually questionable now because of my father) but talk of girls with girls and boys with boys was never a topic touched but I knew that I would've been judged somehow by my overly conservative mother. It was something I only confessed to my closest friends, most were bi, and my boyfriend at the time. My interest in girls is something I'm more open about but not so much with my family, even despite dating two girls in the past. Over the course of this, I've felt my interest in girls has grown significantly to the point where men were nothing but "visually appealing". I began to become comfortable with the idea that I may have been a lesbian in love with one lucky man. It was something hard for U/us to comprehend but I digress.

This evening I found myself relishing in new fantasies that I've yet discussed with Daddy - Sharing. We were playing and Daddy began speaking about how He wondered just how dirty I am and what else hides in my mind and subconscious that we've yet to discover and speak up about. I told Him I had one thing in mind but was ashamed to say it, not so much fearing that He would get upset but it was something that I didn't want to admit to myself. I mumbled fairly softly, "Well... Lately I've been thinking that maybe I could be shared with Your friends, if they wanted to play with me." I even brought up the idea of being fucked by Daddy and sucking off one of His friends. I heard Him chuckle a bit and begin asking questions like, "What made you think that," and, "How long have you been thinking about that?" After that He began teasing me by tapping into the fantasy and asking how I'd seduce them.

This was a bit surprising to the both of us because I've liked the idea of dressing up as a maid around His friends and seriously taking the role, but it was more for eye-candy sake. I had always told Him that I didn't want to be touched or played with by. O/our ex-girlfriend and I even used to discuss this all the time as well, it was something we both agreed on and feared. What on Earth could suddenly possess me to change my mind? Are my hard limits that easily broken if I'm turned on enough? What about my disinterest in men, what happened? These questions raced through my head.

We talked things out and He reassured me that these fantasies were okay and that if I really wanted to take part in them that I could. Daddy is not a jealous man, at least without reason; me having sex with other people doesn't bother Him because He knows they are no threat to His place in my heart or life. So that topic was of no concern to Him, even if I worry that it would really bother Him despite what He says.

With that being said,  we'd talk conditions first before any playdate, our most important one being no man is allowed to cum inside my pussy. They can cum on my skin or in my mouth but my pussy is His. Normally Daddy would say no to any man fucking my pussy, but on the topic of His friends, or mutual friends, He trusts them enough not to hurt me or break our other conditions. It also goes without saying but if W/we have a Dom friend then under no circumstance is he to try and dominate me. Our other limit for now is my ass, even if I was trained enough to take a cock in my ass, I'd be afraid of the other person going too rough and not being able to read my body language... I could always speak up but still.

Daddy told me that He expects me to please and impress O/our guest like a good fuckdoll should.