Saturday, September 21, 2013

Thoughts and Self Improvement

A big part of my training has always been self improvement. For the last day and a half I've been thinking and I've decided it's time to make some of my own improvements. I may not be in the best mental state to really focus working on these, but I'd like to in the future. I have a (bad) habit of striving for perfection; while I don't know how a perfect me would be, I know there are things that can be fixed. Through self analysis, I feel that I'm to blame for many fights with Daddy and general social issues with people. I have a very hard time expressing myself but when I do, I think it pushes people away. I have a hard time of holding on to friends.

I know I have flaws, I know there are some parts of me that annoys Daddy. I've always believed that love is accepting someone as they are for both their good and bad. I will admit that it has landed me in some bad situations in the past, but at the same time, it's something I want from people. I cannot expect perfection what I can't even give perfection. I've also always been told to never change yourself for someone... But isn't that impossible? Change is inevitable and is the only constant thing in life and it's only natural to want to be more compatible with people. If I can see that changing myself is for the better (for myself and in general) then I see no problem with it.

  • Stop comparing yourself to others.This is toxic behavior. There's a reason I am me and there's a reason that you are you. The beauty about humans is there's such a wide range of personalities and, aside from our looks, this is what makes us unique. There are people who like me for who I am and that should be important enough.
  • Stop comparing your relationship to others. This ties in with the previous one but I have to mention it because I'm just as guilty. I should not look at other couples and see them as a mold for Daddy and I to fit in. What we have is special, just like everyone else's relationship. I should not feel sad when Daddy doesn't do something that other men do because He is not like other men. The same goes for Him, He cannot feel bad when I don't do something that other women do.
  • Stop picking arguments. It's completely normal for healthy couples to fight; fighting is a result of differences in personality. I don't believe they should be the cause of the end of a relationship unless the differences are large and no one's willing to compromise and work them out. What's not okay is trying to act like a know-it-all and pick an argument.
  • Stop holding the past over His head. The past is the past, this is now. That means what happens then is done; nothing can be done about it. It's important that I learn to let things go and not hold on to them because it only harms me.
  • Think before you speak. It does neither of us any good to say things that I don't mean. I should treat others how I want to be treated.
  • Control your thoughts and impulses.
  • The world doesn't revolve around you. Stop making it seem like it does.
  • Be less clingy and "obsessive".


Thursday, September 19, 2013

What is the DD/lg dynamic?

In the world of D/s relationships, Doms and subs have different titles, sometimes depending on the dynamic or based on comfort between the couples. While most people are familiar with Master/slave or Master/pet, there is a "gentler" and more lenient dynamic and that is DD/lg. DD/lg stands for Daddy Dom and little girl, but it also known as Daddy Dom and babygirl. Do not be fooled by the name though, it is not gender specific, there are Mommies and little boys as well. It still involves a Dominant (male or female) and a submissive (male or female). Some other names for the dynamic include CG/l (Caregiver/little) and Big/little.

The elements around the D/s lifestyle are pretty similar to that of your typical one which includes guidance, protection, training, and devotion. What makes it different from other well known branches (Master/slave and Master/pet) is that the submissive holds an inner-child side and ageplay is often incorporated in it, so not every Dom is interested in it because of the this. The power exchange between the Daddy/Mommy and little is often lower versus a TPE (total power exchange). There are also different expectations for a little than a slave, for example. Protocols and the expectations may be different or much more relaxed. The dynamic instead focuses on care and guidance for the little, where rules enforced ensure that. While the Daddy stills holds characteristics of a typical Dom, he now also plays a more intimate and nurturing parental role. He does not take the place of a true father figure that is in His sub’s life. Engaging in incest roleplay is not uncommon though and should not be judged.

What is a Daddy Dom or Mommy Domme?

A Daddy, Mommy, or any other Big is a type of Dominant partner. The Big can be of any gender and age group. It's a common misconception that a Big has to be a lot older than the little but this is completely false. While experience does come with age, age alone is not what makes a person Dominant. Some Daddies are strict, while others are more relaxed. It all depends on the person, connection, and the power exchange. Daddies focus more on guidance and nurturing their little, helping them grow as a person and explore theirselves. This isn’t to say that other Doms don’t do the same but their reasons behind it may be different.

Being a Daddy is more than sex and having the ability to control. Being a Daddy is more than just giving spankings. "Daddy" is more than just a name or a title. It's a mindset, it's a personality, it's a way of being. And most importantly it's a great amount of responsibility. To a Daddy, his little is his world and the feeling is mutual. He may see them through the eyes of a parent, but this is not to say that the relationship is incestuous at all, or that the Daddy takes the place of the little's father. They are his most prized possession and a work of art, not in terms of physical appearance, but showing his skill and care as a Dominant. They take on the responsibilities of their little's life, helping relieve some of the stress and guiding them through every day obstacles.

 A Daddy sees potential in his little and does his best to bring it out. Think of finding a rough gem, it’s a gem crafter’s job to cut and shine that gem to show its true potential. Rules are set in place to make sure their little is taking care of themselves. These rules can apply to how they carry out their day, reminding them to take care of proper hygiene, allowing him to choose what they wear, making sure they’re eating healthy, and if they’re on medications that they’re taking them daily. These rules can also apply to internal factors such as encouraging a little to speak up if they’re feeling down, self conscious, or feel that their needs are not being met in the relationship. These rules of encouragement allow the little to speak their mind without fear of being punished or yelled at. And of course there can be rules set in place that are how the little should act towards their Daddy and how to meet his needs. It’s important to emphasize that these needs are not always sexual; submission can be carried out in many different ways. Chores and assignments may also be given to help teach the little responsibility.

 When a little acts out of line, it's his job to teach them right from wrong. Punishments may be given to teach a lesson and they can range from physical punishments, to extra chores, to writing assignments, to loss of privileges. A Daddy does not like punishing his little though, in comparison to how a sadist likes to inflict pain on their bottom. There is no enjoyment in being disappointed and let down, having to correct behavior, or see their little cry with shame. The punishment is not about giving pleasure through pain but it's teaching a lesson and conditioning, providing an action and a lecture as to why it was wrong and what they can do differently to behave better. But after the punishment it's his job to remind the little that once it's over, the issue is dust in the wind.

What is a little?

The term little refers to a submissive that is more of a child-at-heart and plays on their child-like nature. In some communities you'll see that the term's original definition is used a little bit differently and losely, since you can find littles who are more interested in little space but without D/s. For the sake of talking about the dynamic and lifestyle, I'll be using the term with D/s in mind. In general littles may require more care, attention, protection, and guidance than other submissives. Their Dominant partner acts as more of a parental or caregiver figure than other types of Dominants and are typically called names along the lines of Mommy and Daddy, but you’ll find dynamics where the Big partner is another “family” member (sister and brother or even Uncle or Aunt, for example). They feed off each other; the Big giving the support, care, and guidance, while receiving devotion, love, obedience, and playfulness that they may desire.

 Not all littles are ageplayers, and not all ageplayers are submissives. Ageplay is a kink that tends to overlap. Non-ageplay littles tend to share a relationship with their Daddy/Mommy that is full of TLC ("tender loving care"; and what’s mentioned above) to feed the inner child, though the sub does not act out as a child. For littles that engage in ageplay, the little actually does take on a little persona and will roleplay as if she were that age. It can range anywhere from simply wanting to look slightly younger, like a cute dress and pig tails, to wanting a pacifier and coloring books and engaging in childish activities. These activities can be completely non-sexual and for the benefit and happiness of the little, which is why you'll see Daddies/Mommies take part in these activities. Each little is different and has their own interests. From there the Daddy/Mommy takes on His role and acts accordingly, depending on the age, they may need more structure, guidance, and attention than other subs.

It is not uncommon for a Daddy/Mommy to establish rules to teach His little and keep them in line. These rules can range from behavioral rules to every day things such as bedtimes and bathroom privileges. Some couples even create a reward system and chart to praise when the little has been good. At the end of the week or month, prizes are rewarded for good behavior. Like other dynamics, punishments are typically given for littles who break the rules and can range from spankings to loss of privileges.

Please note that the DD/lg dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia. We do not condone the acts of pedophilia and the exploitation of children in any way. Just as adults like to take on other roles in the bedroom such as nurse, pet, porn star, etc. it is all roleplay; that is the same for ageplay. No matter how taboo the roleplay or fantasy, it's harmless as long as no one is being abused. No one is sexualizing children and the dynamic is not pedophilia. Pedophiles would not be interested in adult women anyways, no matter how young they dress or look, because they're attracted to the idea of prepubescent children either for the sake of the easy manipulation and sex or the body. The DD/lg dynamic is like any other aspect of BDSM - it is safe, sane, and consensual between adults. Those who participate in the dynamic should be not be shamed for doing so and should not be accused of having "daddy issues".

  What DD/lg is not...
  • For minors or anyone under 18.
  • gender, sexuality, age (18+), or race specific.
  • just calling your boyfriend or husband "daddy" in bed This would be considered topping and bottoming. There is nothing wrong with that but since it's bedroom play rather than a lifestyle, it differs from a D/s dynamic.
  • the same as sugar daddies and sugar babies.
  • a reason for a submissive to act like a brat and manipulate their Dom/Domme.
  • a way to get spoiled and give nothing in return.

Other explanations of DD/lg:

What is a Daddy Dom? - Alittleunderstanding.com
 What is a little? - Alittleunderstanding.com
What is DD/lg? - Written by romantic-ds
What is a Daddy Dom? - Library for Kinksters
The Wonderful World of Littles - Submissvefeminist

Some questions regarding the dynamic

Q: I want to hop in and be a little/Daddy/Mommy, but I have no experience in the lifestyle.
 A: If you're willing to take the dynamic seriously and have what it takes then hop right in. I recommend joining Fetlife and joining DD/lg groups on there or Tumblr's DD/lg community to learn more. Please remember that owning another person is a very big responsibility. Their safety and well-being lies in your hands. If you don't feel like you can carry on this role and take this responsibility outside of the bedroom then a D/s dynamic may not be for you.

  Q: Do I have to be an older man/woman to be a Daddy/Mommy?
 A: No, this dynamic's roles are not age specific. You will find that a lot of littles prefer older men than younger men but that's simply a preference and living out the fantasy of Nobakov's Lolita (which also has nothing to do with this dynamic). Your age does not disqualify you if you are a Dom and would like to engage in this dynamic.

  Q: Do I have to call my Dom "Daddy"? I feel uncomfortable with that title.
 A:No, you don't. You can call your Daddy or Mommy any title that you're both comfortable with. Being a Daddy or a Mommy is more than titles, anyone can call their partner those names and it doesn’t make them a Daddy Dom/Mommy Domme. A Daddy or Mommy is characterized based on the dynamic they have with their little - the rules and guidelines given, the expectations, the power exchange, taking on a caregiver or parental role, etc.

 Don’t let a dynamic’s title name limit you, it’s simply a name given to describe the type of dynamic and differentiate it from Owner/pet and Master/slave. It’s simply a guideline. You can call your partner anything you both are comfortable with and that doesn’t change your dynamic.

 Here are some alternative names:
Q: Are there set rules or guidelines?
 A: Nope, your relationship is however you create it. But basic understandings of a D/s lifestyle will give you some basic foundation to work from, as well as letting you see how to improve your role or your partner's.

 Q: Can I engage in pet play and still be a little? A: Most definitely and it's very common too. As I've come to learn, the other branches in the D/s dynamic serve as guidelines and give you an idea of what sort of relationship you're aiming for. You're more than welcome to take and omit whatever you'd like.

 Q: Is it all about sex?
 A: Not at all. Unless stated otherwise, D/s relationships are not just about sex. What makes a D/s relationship is the power exchange between then couple. Many DD/lg couples are in intimate, romantic relationships and carry on with their mixed (vanilla and kink) lives together just like vanilla couples. Also servitude and submission can be shown in many other ways and that's for you and your partner to discuss. So if you're asexual, you can most definitely carry on this sort of dynamic.

Q: What is the different between DD/lg and ageplay?
 A: DD/lg is a D/s dynamic and involves a power exchange between the Dom and sub. ABDL and ageplay are not, instead they are forms of roleplay whether it’s sexual or not. They can be incorporated into a relationship involving power exchanges. If you'd like a more in depth answer, please click herehttp://daddys-doll.blogspot.com/2016/02/ddlg-vs-ageplay-revamped.html.

Q: What makes a good Daddy/Mommy?

Q: Do I have to like girly things or like baby things?
I get this question a lot. A lot of new littles think they don't fit in with what the "ideal little look" or persona. There's no set look to be a little. You don't have to like what others like, such as pacifiers, diapers, Disney princesses, MLP, etc. You don't have to engage in ageplay. You don't have to dress up in girly clothing or like cutesy pastel colors.

Don't let others tell you you're not a little because you don't like what they like.

Q: Where can I meet a Daddy, Mommy, or other littles.

  • Fetlife:
Ageplay Personals - You may or may not find Daddy/Mommy Doms/Dommes in this group. I say this because ageplay and DD/lg are slightly different, and not every ageplayer is looking for a Dom when they look for a Daddy or Mommy. But you can definitely find friends or playmates in here. Daddy - lil girl/babygirl Personals
Daddy Doms/Babygirl submissives 
Daddy Doms and Babygirls
Daddy ~ girl Relationships

To view these groups you will need to join Fetlife. Fetlife is strictly for 18+. Make your account and fill out your profile. Make sure you talk about yourself and what you're looking for. Aside from the groups mentioned above, join groups that are centered around your city or a large city around you. Munches and events are a great way to meet people and learn new things.
      *Please note that personals posts should only be posted in personals groups. If it's posted outside of those, your post may be seen as spam and deleted.
  • DDlgworld.com - A DD/lg (CG/l or Big/little) friendly forum for Bigs and littles of all kinds to make friends, discuss topics, and talk about their relationships.
  • Littlespace Online - A DD/lg, CG/l, ageplay, and ABDL community.

Last edited:  August 3, 2015


Wednesday, September 18, 2013

BDSM Essentials

So as I mentioned a few days ago in a post, I joined Collarme. I joined as a Domme and have seen firsthand how ridiculous members of the site are. I've always heard about how the site like a meat market, full of scammers, and full of fake profiles. Considering it's more well known than Fetlife and has been around longer, I'm not surprised. Aside from those things mentioned, I've come across another big problem - the lack of understanding submission and D/s roles.
Let give you some examples:
image
This is actually only 3 messages out of the 35 pages of messages I have, most of them being similar to this. I've had some pretty scary ones similar to the last 3rd:
"OMG!! I want to die for you! i will hang myself. Maybe I can leave all my possessions and money to you! Do you want to watch? :) I will serve you in any way you want! I am serious! I am fat and bald and i know i am a loser that is why i will give toy my money and then hang myself!! :) :)"
I'm not even sure where to begin but I'll address the last 2 mentioned first. BDSM is meant to be safe, sane, and consensual. These messages and offerings to submit to me are not safe or sane. I don't see any pleasure in highly harming or disabling someone. I'm pretty sure it could get me in trouble with the law too, but clearly these people didn't think about that. Secondly, dying for someone to gain their attention or dominance is not cute and it shows that this person is not mentally stable enough to pursue a D/s dynamic. I highly suggest that people like this seek therapy and I pray that they don't find someone else who's interested in fulfilling their wishes.

Now that that's out of the way, I wanted to address the issues I mentioned before. I've (officially) been in the lifestyle for two and a half years now, I've been active in the Fetlife and Tumblr communities and no matter where I go, I still come across messages like the first two. It still baffles me that even on sites that revolve around the lifestyle, people still feel the need to send messages asking for ownership. You are in a website full of kinky people (kinksters, Doms, subs) who are looking for someone and you're going to tell me that you can't send a proper message? At least an introduction and statement about what you're looking for.
It's really important to make a good impression. If you're looking for someone and you're interested in them, you need to present yourself in an way that is honest and appealing to the other person's wants. This is why I'll never understand messages such as, "Can I be your Daddy?" or "Can I be your slave/pet/babygirl?" No, you can't because you couldn't even make the effort to get to know me, introduce yourself, and handle the situation maturely. How can I tell that we're even compatible? You're not 13 and this isn't Gaiaonline, a D/s dynamic is serious and if you can't handle it seriously, why should I consider you? As I've said before, you don't just go up to random people in everyday like and ask, "Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?" So why treat the lifestyle like it's completely different, especially on matching-making or social network sites that cater to that?
As I've also mentioned before, this is not a relationship revolving around the exchange of cute names. Have a Daddy or Master is not just a cute nickname your boyfriend or girlfriend carries in the bedroom. No, no, no D/s is a lifestyle and it goes far beyond the bedroom. Daddy says and I do. Servitude is so much more than fulfilling sexual needs. If you're not willing to have rules, serve, obey, learn, etc. then a D/s dynamic is not for you, and you're better off finding another kinkster who is fine with keeping such things strictly in the bedroom.
The other thing that I wanted to mention was the lack of understanding or seriousness around D/s roles. There is actually a difference between being a submissive and a slave due to the power exchange. A submissive (pet/babygirl/etc) still holds on to their basic rights, this is because there is not a total power exchange. The submissive has not given up all his/her right to the Dom, so they can still have a say in things. As a slave there is a total power exchange; the submissive has completely given up her rights and freewill to his/her Dom. They can no longer negotiate an order regardless how they feel about it.
As Master and slave dynamic is not something to take lightly and is not something that should be established overnight. You better know your Dom well and have gone over all of your interests and limits when the question of slave ownership comes up. And most importantly, you better have a lot of trust and faith in your Dom to completely give yourself to them in such a way.

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 14

Do you have any favorite titles for yourself?

 I have so many names from Daddy but my favorites are (in no particular order) babygirl, baby-bunny, princess, and little girl.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 12 and Day 13

If you have a caretaker/partner, tell us how you told them about this topic. If not, how would you go about bringing up the subject?
What’s the title you’ve given to your caretaker or Dom? If you don’t have one, what would you want to call him or her?
 
I'm combining these two because it's easier for explanation sake. I realized that while answering day 12, day 13 was answered too.
 
Back in early 2011, I had made it clear that at some point I wanted a D/s dynamic in our relationship. It's something He wanted too, He had even had a submissive at the time who turned out to be my girlfriend in the future. At the time I was really set on being a kitten and exploring pet play.  Personal reasons on both sides kept us from establishing the dynamic until August 2011. 

My training began but a few days later, I was having second thoughts about calling Him "Master". Because of my previous relationship, it left a bad taste in my mouth despite the fact that months before this, I would call Him that name every so often. I had been introduced to the DD/lg (it was actually Daddy Dom and babygirl back then) community through Tumblr, and I decided to read up on it more. Upon reading I realized that I was a babygirl, I fit the explanation almost perfectly. I brought up to Him and told Him about it, as well as asking if it was something we could pursue. He was a little hesitant about it at first but agreed.

On Fetlife the DD/lg community was split between non-ageplay babygirls and ageplay babygirls. I identified with the former back then because I had no interest in ageplay. I felt that naturally I had interests that were younger than my given age (18 at the time) so I didn't feel the need or point of having a regression age. You can read more about that here

It wasn't until about February 2012 that I actually did start regressing. At the beginning it was just a voice change and change in mannerisms but it's been a slippery slope downward since. I think both of us were pretty surprised since it was not something He was into and neither was I, but He wasn't mad. A big part of my training was learning to accept myself, so He reassured me and told me to just give in to it in the future.

So confessing I am an ageplaying wasn't really something done verbally, it was just something that happened and we discussed it afterwards. I feel I am lucky to have a boyfriend who has been accepting of my kinks and has been with me every step of the way through this - no, our journey.

Monday, September 16, 2013

New Buttplug

Originally written April 24, 2013

So I got my new plug in the mail today. For those of you curious it's a Doc Johnson Spectra Gel Anal Stuffer bought from Love Honey. It's pretty big and I'll admit I felt intimidated at first but I was really excited to use it. After all, I've been waiting since April 4th for this. Daddy had me lube it up nicely and bend over. He reminded me that the goal was not to force it all the way in but to see how far I could comfortably take it.
My first try wasn't too successful. I pushed in the first bump with no problem. As I was pushing in the second bump, I forgot the meaning of "gentle" and pushed it in pretty quickly and it hurt like hell. I quickly pulled it out and took a few moments break.

After the pain died down, I was determined to try it again so I lubed it up again. Daddy reminded me to take deep breaths and exhale as I pushed it in, He says it relaxed the body. He also told me that this time with each bump to take a moment to let my body adjust. So I bent over and spread my legs further, I decided to go for a more crouched position than upright kneel. I pushed the first bump again with no problem and took a moment to adjust. I applied more pressure slowly and let the second bump slip in. I let out a gasp and a long exhale as I bent down and let my body get used to the new sensation. The second one has the largest increase in size from the first, so getting over that one was what it took to comfortably move on.

We then continued on to the next bump, which is the largest but only a slight increase from the second so it went in easily. I was going to stop there but I applied a bit more pressure and ended up taking the last bump and then the whole thing. Mind you, the length of this plug is 6 inches; I'm not sure about the girth off the top of my head.

At that point I just relaxed and Daddy congratulated me, telling me that I was a good girl and that He was proud of me. He asked me how it felt and I replied that it felt good and had no pain. I started to get a little worked up though about what if it started hurting; but I managed to calm myself down.

I've had it in for a half hour now and it's really comfortable, almost natural feeling. I love it and I'm proud that I was able to completely take it in today, even if it wasn't our initial goal.

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 11

Is there anyone that knows that you’re an ageplayer? Would you tell any of your closest friends?
 

While I've only mentioned my best friend knowing, I have a handful of friends that know about my D/s dynamic and my ageplay interest. I think there's about 7 people to be more specific but I won't mention names.

My best friend already knows, I told her about it a year ago on the phone. You can see that story here.

The second person to know is one of my three close guy friends that I refer to as "bro". He's a mutual friend of Daddy and I and He's actually a Daddy Dom. I don't remember ever straight up telling Him, He and His ex babygirl started following me when I first made my D/s Tumblr. I go to Him when I run into issues or need a second opinion and He comes to me when He needs advise, vanilla or not.

Then another bro of mine knows. I don't remember telling him either, just one day gave him that Tumblr because I was on it more than my original one and he started following me. He's never questioned my interest or even brought up the subject but as far as I know, it's never made him uncomfortable.

An old high school buddy, who also happens to be an ex, knows too. He's known from the beginning about it and various other kinks. He was the first person I know in real life to actually know about my kinky side and it was cool because he was kinky too. Unfortunately we've grown apart since then.

The next three people are more real life friends from a fashion community I'm part of and they found out by chance.

The first one to find out actually came across my Tumblr... I'm not sure how but she did. She sent me an anonymous message telling me that she was pretty sure she knew who I was and also confessed that she too is a little (not sure if she's a little into ageplay though). Considering I have a tracker on my blog, I was able to tell the relative area of the message sender and narrowed my guess down to her and another girl. She actually came off anon and told me who she was. Since then we've lightly discussed it on Facebook but not too much. I'd like to offer her guidance in finding a Daddy in the future.

The next two are actually a couple. They do solo and couple camshows together and one day they came across a recording of one my shows on an imageboard. They sent me a message saying that we needed to talk and they told me what happened and confessed that they did shows too. Thankfully I felt same with them knowing this and while hanging out with them for a few days I confessed that I was an ageplayer a babygirl submissive. They don't have a great understanding of D/s relationships aside from how you would see it portrayed in porn. They've kept my secret and I've kept theirs.

With all that being said, am I careful about who I let know? Yes, I'm not the type of person who intends to shove my sexual interests in other people's faces; it's rude because not everyone shares those interests. I'm also afraid of scaring people off or making them feel uncomfortable around me. I know a lot of girls in my community look down on ageplayers because they assume that it's all AB/DL, which is not true. I'm content with those who know already and unless I found more openly kinky friends, I don't believe I'd share it.

What am I looking for?

I've been getting this question asked a lot, it's time that I address it.

I am not looking for a specific gender - male, female, or trans is fine by me. Please note that while I am bisexual, I much more attracted to women for a romantic relationship than men, but I have no problem having a male sub, this is because the idea of humiliating, degrading, and fulfilling my sadistic urges amuses me and turns me on.

At the moment I can not offer a live-in D/s dynamic or 24/7, this is because of my living situation and I am not looking to relocate for anyone except My Daddy. But I will not limit it to online only, I am fine with meeting you in a public place, perhaps at a munch hosted by my local BDSM community.

I want someone who is honest and serious. I believe that honesty in any sort of relationship is very important but especially in romantic and D/s ones. I want someone that I can know on a personal level or even a friendship level and that understands that I am not looking for a quick thrill or to sate your quick thrill*; I want to explore My side and yours as well. I want you to trust Me before I can even consider ownership. A D/s dynamic is nothing without trust. Submission is a gift given through trust and even love, do not give it so easily because it can be taken advantage of; it's not safe.

I do not want someone that has no limits. It's fine if you're not sure if something is a hard limit of yours or not, but to tell me that you have no limits is ridiculous. I will not take someone who has no concern for their own well-being or safety. Please realize that I am still learning what interests me as a Domme, I have many interests as a submissive but some of those do not apply to both sides. I am fairly open to kinks, and you have one that is not listed on my profile, talk to me about it and we can come to some sort of agreement.

*If you're looking for a quick thrill in terms of having me control you, humiliate you, degrade you, give you assignments, tasks, etc. then that is fine. Just realize that some sort of payment would be nice. Please message me to discuss what you're looking for and to find out what I'm comfortable or uncomfortable with.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Let's get one thing straight, if you ever send a message like the one below to someone, you're an idiot:
If you feel the need to demand someone to bow down to you and submit, you don't know a thing about dominance and submission. If you feel the need to use manipulation and inflict fear to gain control, you still don't know a thing about D/s. I wouldn't even call you a Dom if you presented yourself that way. So atmyfeetkunktt, let me teach you a thing or two, not that you deserve to be taught but because you need to be knocked off your high horse.

First off, if you took your hand off your tiny dick and actually read my profile, you'd have found out that I am owned and not looking for another Dom. Let me make this clear, just because a man or woman is a submissive does not mean that they are obligated to serve you. Even if I wasn't owned, I don't have to do jackshit for you, I don't owe anything to you. You have not earned my submission.

Being Dom is not about having the ability to control someone. It's not about being an abusive prick. It's not about getting to fuck someone with their consent. It's about love, trust, respect, and honesty. To dominate someone is not just owning them but also be there as a mentor. Your primary role as a Dom is to help a submissive grow not only into their role but also help them grow as a person. This is more than name calling and dominance in the bedroom, this is ownership of another human being. That means you are responsible for what happens to them under your care.

If you can't treat another human being with the respect that they deserve, then why should they respect you? Like submission, full respect is earn. Treat others how you'd want to be treated.

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 10

Tell us about an ageplay fantasy of yours. It can be sexual or non-sexual.

Unfortunately I'll have to keep this non-sexual since Blogger has strict rules on NSFW content.

An ageplay fantasy that I have would be of day of giving in to my childish side with Daddy. I would love if one weekend that Daddy surprised me by laying out an outfit on the bed for me to wear for the day, something girly and cute-looking. Daddy and I would bathe together and then He could help me get dressed and do my hair - maybe some low braids or high pigtails.

Afterwards Daddy would take me to empty park where I could swing for a bit... Maybe even be walked around on my leash afterwards. Then I'd like to head out for ice cream together. I'd get a big waffle cone with several scoops of vanilla ice cream topped with strawberry syrup, strawberry pieces, and chocolate chips. Daddy will definitely have to carry around some napkins for me because I'll probably end up making a mess around my mouth. Of course, He could always just wipe my mouth clean and then lick off the mix of strawberry sauce and ice cream off of His finger.

Perhaps we could walk around town for a bit and then head back home. I'd run inside the house and sit on my favorite spot on the couch and ask for Daddy to put on a movie for us to watch again. I'd cook us some extra buttery popcorn then head back in the living room and cuddle up to Him and enjoy the movie together.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

FinDoms: The Nasty Word

In the two years that I've been a submissive, hearing or seeing the word FinDom has shown up a lot within the Tumblr community. I had heard nothing but bad things about it and this fed on to my beliefs and misunderstandings of the dynamic. It's also fairly taboo on Fetlife. I had a firm belief that it was as low as conning someone and toying with someone's emotions. I've very recently found myself growing an interest and curiosity surrounding the whole dynamic and what it entails.

For those of you who don't know, FinDom is short for Financial Domination. It's a branch of D/s dynamics that revolves around payments going toward the Domme. Each Domme does it differently but the idea is to own a slave or piggy who is willing to submit to you and pay you. You're probably thinking, "Who's stupid enough to do such a thing?" There are actually many men who consider this a real kink for them and do this for their own personal reasons - some men get off to the idea of being forced to pay, others feel a sense of satisfaction and self-worth for helping out their Mistress/Goddess/Princess. They want to see their Domme live as their title.

The relationship shared between a FinDomme and Her sub is unique to each. Contrary to what I originally believed, this is not about women forcing just any submissive man to pay them. After joining a FinDom site and reading the forums, I learnt that many of these women want to know their sub on at least a personal level. It's not about forcing every man to just pay up. There are both good and bad Dommes and while I can't speak for them all, it appears that many of them do want to earn the needed trust to carry on the dynamic. This is something that my Daddy doesn't quite understand and something that I didn't understand up until yesterday, we assumed that it was making helpless men pay and was a mockery of a true D/s dynamic.

You will find that many men crave to be humiliated and degraded in extreme ways. This includes public ridicule on blogs, comments in pictures, etc. Some men want more humiliation than others, that's something that's discussed between the Domme and sub. When I first came across it, I was disgusted by the treatment these men go through, but then it hit me that male subs (in general) tend to really be into this. As long as it's consensual between both parties, there's nothing wrong with it.

And while this may sound like easy money, if done correctly, it shouldn't be. This is not prostitution and it's not conning someone either (but it can be both). Not every  woman can be a FinDomme because not every woman can be a Domme, even in general terms. Not every woman can properly own someone. Owning a submissive is a big responsibility whether he is owned 24/7 or just when the Domme can.While money and humiliation play a large factor into this, the submissive's well-being should always come first. You have to realize that there will be times when the submissive will be sick, depressed, or stressed and may not be able to contribute as much as he normally can. This is when the nurturing and caring aspect of a Domme should come into effect.

So why is FinDom such a nasty word?
Because a lot can go wrong. The biggest issue is addiction. A Domme should also know when to put her greed aside. A submissive can become addicted to paying the Domme, just as people become addicted to gambling. I feel that while a Domme is taking money from the sub, it is important that periodically they both go over his financial state. This takes a lot of trust but I'm hoping that it's something that is done once a sub has been owned long term. Both parties are responsible for making sure the financial state is at a healthy level where he can still pay but also take care of himself and maybe even his family.

There's also the fact that some women may treat it as a true abusive relationship rather than a D/s one. There is a line where a Domme should not cross - hard limit exist for a reason. With financial domination, this issue becomes an add-on to the normal risk of abuse. There can be lies, manipulation, and blackmailing. The lies can be about anything such as the relationship status of the Domme, how many other subs there are, where his money is going, etc.

So why am I interested in this?
When I confessed to Daddy that I had an interest in this he gave me a disgusted look. I won't lie, the money is tempting and even more so now than ever - I have big plans for 2014 as well as expensive hobbies. Camming made me a decent amount of money when I did it regularly but I haven't up until now, which I'd like to get back into. But aside from the money, I've known for a while that I've wanted to gives in to my dominant urges and explore this side of me. I've been able to do so since June with my puppy but it's just roleplay, so it's not a true D/s dynamic. There are things that now interest me that don't interest him and I respect his limits.

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 9

What are some little activities or hobbies that you have?


Whoops, I'm running behind on this again.
I sat for a few moments and tried to think of little activities or hobbies that I might have and I couldn't come up with many. I'm not into coloring books; don't get me wrong, I love to color it's just that I prefer it to be my own artwork. I'm not a fan of the paper used for coloring books either, it's like it's made solely for crayons and I hate crayons.

I love movies, especially classic Disney movies that I watched as a kid. They never get old to me. I still own all my favorites on VHS, but our VCR no longer works so I don't watch them unless ABC Family or Disney Channel is showing them.

I also like kid's toys still. I don't play with them often mainly because I don't have many left and it's boring to play alone, but I find the toy aisle at stores hard to resist. It's a shame that I don't drive because when I go to the store, it's with my parents and it would be weird to just run off to those aisles. Well... Monster High dolls could be my excuse.

I think the most obvious interest for me is playing dress up. No, I'm not talking about heading to the mall and just trying clothes on, I'm talking about going through my closet and putting on several outfits to show off to Daddy. Sometimes I love to wear cutesy outfits, I have this adorable Victoria's Secret shirt that's almost like a dress and it's beautiful. There are other times where I like to attempt a (mall) goth look with what little I have to create it.

Friday, September 6, 2013

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 8

Do you have any favorite toys or stuffies?

I've mentioned him before so yes, I do. This is Deimos. He's my cuddle buddy and guardian given to me by Daddy for 20th birthday. He's about a foot tall and he's super soft. I sleep with him every night and go into a mini state of panic if I don't have him with me.

I'm not sure how many other littles do this but when I'm playing with Daddy, I usually turn him around so he can't see.

Some other things I have that are really important to me are my Bratz dolls, they're currently at my other house so I can't provide pictures; they're nothing too special to see anyways. The reason they're so important to me is because they hold strong memories of my childhood. I remember a couple years back my mum was going to give them away and I freaked out, especially over my first one. So they're currently sitting in a carry case and a few on shelves in my closet.







When He's Happy, I'm happy

A few days ago Daddy got a collaboration request from an acquaintance to work together to create a game. He has made games on His own before but honestly expressed that it's harder to work on His own. Daddy was beaming with happiness seeing this as a great opportunity to start coding again and giving Him motivation to work again. There was even a mention about monetizing it in the future.

After He told me this, I told Him, "Today is going to be a good day because I said so," and it was. A few hours later, a large envelope was handed to me and it was my GED results. We were Skyping so I held up the envelope and opened it, taking a deep breath before pulling the contents out. I passed! In my hand I had my diploma and transcripts, everything I needed to apply for college in the spring. I was so happy and I could see it on His face too, I could tell He was proud of me.

I bring this up because as His girlfriend and submissive, it brings me joy to see the man I love smile. He is normally a rather sullen man, well not around me but in general. He's not easily amused by things like I am. So to see something other myself make Him happy makes me smile. And I know it's something mutual. Setting selfish desires aside, there is nothing else in life I'd want than to see my Daddy in good spirits and being successful in what He does. We are supportive of each other, but that's not to say that we would let either engage in something that's stupid or unsafe.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

30 Days of Ageplay: Days 6 & 7

How did you know you were a baby/little/middle? Was there anything in your teen years that hinted at it being present?
I've explained that before in a previous post.

What is something that brings you to your little space? This can be something someone says, movies, and so on.
Being called little girl or babygirl really puts me in "little space". It's very comforting and lets me know that it's okay to let go for a bit. It also causes a bit of an issue because I have a dog named Babygirl, so when someone calls her name, I have to remind myself that they're not calling me.

Movies like The Princess Diaries or any Disney princess movie brings me to little space because it reminds me of when I was younger and would watch the shit out of those movies. Come to think of it, even some songs put me in that space.

Monday, September 2, 2013

The Little Mistress

The majority of posts in this blog are me talking about my experiences as a submissive but on the side, I'm a haughty little Mistress. I don't get in this mindset too often but when I do it's because my confidence is pretty high. I don't have much experience being a Mistress but I'm learning. I look up to Daddy for guidance. I think what calls my attention is being able to get what I want and sate my sadistic side. I'm not much of pain sadist but a pleasure one; there's actually a fine line between pain and pleasure. I also love humiliation, which is something I like as a submissive as well.

I have a puppy boy, I don’t own him and we’re not a 24/7 - it’s more roleplaying but I like it that way. I don’t feel like I know enough about being a Domme to own someone and I can’t say I feel responsible enough to take that role yet. It’s also a bit tough on me since I’m trying to figure out my sexuality. I’m not sexually attracted to men but having a guy sub sounds far more intriguing than a woman sub. I think it’s because there’s more room for me to humiliate them. There’s satisfaction in seeing how desperate I can make a man.

Having a puppy has let me explore this side of mine and let it grow. We do have our limits together that's anal play or physical impacts, but most everything else goes. I can humiliate him by calling him a bitch boy or remind me him what his friends would think of him if they saw him this way. I can make him edge a few times and deny him of orgasm. I love the way he whimpers and begs.

There's something else I can get away with though, and that's foot worshiping. As a foot fetishist on both the receiving and giving end, this is something I really love. I can make him kiss my feet or massage them as I please. I haven't mentioned it before but I'm very nimble with my feet, they're like a second pair of hands for me. This makes for exciting foot jobs which show him his place and humiliate him in the sense that he has to be good and earn the privilege to be touched by my hands.

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 5

Any change in voice or mannerisms?
I do have a change in voice and it's predictable - my voice sounds higher pitched. It's not exaggerated or combined with baby-speak though.

My mannerisms do change a bit as well, I have a tendency to speak more in 3rd person and use my own vocabulary for certain things:

  • My Daddy: ”Daddy” “Sir” "Apuci"
  • Myself: “bunny” “doll” “little girl” “puppy"
    ** “Puppy” is used when we’re engaging in pet play 
  • Impact play: ”spankings"
  • My Vagina: ”bunny hole” “pretty pussy” 
  • My Ass: “bunny buns” “bum” 
  • Penis: ”cock” 
  • Sex: ”playtime”  

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Just think, Daddy...

Originally written: Sept. 23, 2011

After all that time spent waiting, we're finally together. Most likely on a bus to some hotel around the capital so we'd have to behave a bit... Of course that doesn't completely stop me. You know how I am. I'm sitting next to you looking all cute and wearing some short little skirt. I look around for a few moments to see if anyone's around. Everything's clear and I tap your shoulder, looking at you with a cheeky grin. You look over to see me pointing down as I briefly lift up my skirt. It occurs to you that the entire time I haven't been wearing panties and now it's all in your view, my soft, clean-shaven mound and delicate pink folds. Your hand reaches down between my thighs and your fingers brush against my folds.

I look up at you with a smirk and whisper in your ear, "Behave, Daddy, we wouldn't want to be seen and get in trouble. Besides, we'll have plenty of time to play later." Of course, I'm not one to give orders but I'm right... Then again considering I'm the one who teased first, I'm no better. We calm down though it's clear our patience is slowly failing and our mind is focused on getting our hands (and more) on each other. However, we manage 'til we reach the hotel.

Finally, a room to ourselves and no one to disturb us. You close the door behind me as I set me bags down and sit on the bed, lying back and calling for you. My legs are spread apart and exposing myself from beneath my skirt. "Daddy, would you like to play with me?" I whisper as I spread my lips. You walk over to the side of the bed next to me and I grab your writ, pulling you down next to her and climbing over your lap
and straddling you. I lean in to brush my lips against yours, finally meeting yours in a passionate kiss and slipping my tongue in. My tongue wrestles with yours as my hand grabs the bulge in your pant and a finger presses down along your shaft through the fabric.

You undo your pants and pull them down, freeing your hard, thick cock with a drop of precum glistening from the tip. I wrap my legs around your waist and chuckles as I grind my pussy against your shaft and covering it in my juices. You lower your head to my neck and lay soft kisses at at first, but it's not long before I feel your teeth graze against my skin before biting down. A soft sigh escapes my lips, lifting my hips up and lowering myself onto you slowly, feeling your head pushing against my tight entrance and slipping in. I can't help but let out a soft moan; that sensation and moment I've been waiting so long for.

I lower myself further down your thick length. I can feel my insides clenching around it tightly. Slowly I begin moving my hips against yours, riding you and increasing my pace a bit more each time you thrust into me. Deeper and deeper each time, you pull out almost all the way and pound into me hard. I feel your lips wrapping around one of my tits, your tongue flicking against my sensitive and perky nipple and muffling a moan. I lean forward to you and wrap my arms around you, my head against yours and a soft moan escaping my lips right against your ear. "Daddy..." I sigh softly as the pleasure builds up and I reach my limit. I don't dare let go though, not yet, not 'til Daddy says so.

Your thrusts speed up and your hips occasionally buck. My nails dig into your back and rake down them, panting as I continue moving my hips with yours but completely out of rhythm already. Your hand glides down between our bodies and pushes against my clit, rubbing it hard. I bite my lip and moan a bit louder. Your head lifts from my tits to my ear and you whisper, "I'm getting close, babygirl." I can hear it in your voice, your resistance failing like mine. Your hips thrust up swiftly and you push your entire length as deep as you can, doing this a couple times.

Suddenly your hands move down to my hips and hold them down and through your teeth I hear you mutter, "Cum for me, babygirl." I let go myself and release the built-up pleasure in my body, my back arching and my head thrown back as I let out a loud moan. My inner walls grip your cock hard as you release your warm cum into me, your grip on my hips holding me down until every last drop of cum has filled me. Your lips part to let out a loud groan but I move in for another kiss, muffling the sound and locking our lips until we're both almost out of breath. I pull away and look down at you with a loving smile. And then and there is when I experience my moment of bliss, perfection, and love.


Disclaimer

After reading Blogger's ToS, I've come to realize that from the looks of a viewer not familiar with the DD/lg dynamic, this blog looks like it breaks a lot of the rules. I'd like to start off by saying that this blog is run by a consenting adult (I'm 20). I have been in a D/s relationship with my 22 year old boyfriend since February 2011. Yes, I do call my boyfriend "Daddy" but we have no sort of shared family relations and do not condone incest. He is called "Daddy" because that's the title I chose to call Him as a Dom, of course you might see me refer to Him as other titles in my writings. While the name seems to give off bad connotations, I assure you that it's not as bad as it sounds.

In the world of D/s relationships, Doms and subs have different titles, sometimes depending on the dynamic. While most people are familiar with Master/slave, there is a gentler dynamic and that is DD/g. DD/lg stands for Daddy Dom and little girl. Do not be fooled by the name though, it is not gender specific, there are Mommies and little boys as well.

The role of a Daddy is much like any other Dom, to help His sub grow and care for her but he does hold some special roles too. Daddies play more of a parental role; their goals are to guide, protect, nuture, and love their little. They will spoil their little by tending to her inner child. Each Daddy is as special and different as His little girl, some are sadistic or treat their little slightly differently than what’s mentioned. That’s okay too. It is a common misconception that littles have “daddy issues”. While a Daddy is known for His parental role, He does not take the role of a true father figure that is in His sub’s life.

In the dynamic ageplay may or may not be involved. Non-ageplay littles tend to share a relationship with their Daddy that is full of TLC (and what’s mentioned above) to feed the inner child, though the sub does not act out as a child. In ageplay the little actually does take on a little persona and will roleplay as if she were that age. It can range anywhere from simply wanting to look slightly younger, like a cute dress and pig tails, to wanting a pacifier and coloring books. Each little is different and has her own interests. From there the Daddy takes on His role and acts accordingly, depending on the age, she may need more structure, guidance, and attention than others. It is not uncommon for a Daddy to establish rules to teach His little girl and keep her in line.

Please note that the DD/lg dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia. We do not condone the acts of pedophilia and the exploitation of children in any way. Just as adults like to take on other roles in the bedroom such as nurse, pet, porn star, etc. it is all roleplay; that is the same for ageplay. The DD/lg dynamic is like any other aspect of BDSM - it is safe, sane, and consensual. Those who participate in the dynamic should be not be shamed for doing so.

30 Days of Ageplay: Day 4

Do you have interests that may be older or younger than the age that you identify with?

It turns out that this is actually day 3's question and that I had accidentally answer day 4, so that explains the question switcharoo.

I think my most obvious interest that doesn't match my "little age" would be pacifiers. Nothing else about being an adult baby calls mine or Daddy's attention but there's about pacifiers that's cute. I could definitely see myself using one for the sake of comfort and even satisfying my oral fixation.