Thursday, September 19, 2013

What is the DD/lg dynamic?

In the world of D/s relationships, Doms and subs have different titles, sometimes depending on the dynamic or based on comfort between the couples. While most people are familiar with Master/slave or Master/pet, there is a "gentler" and more lenient dynamic and that is DD/lg. DD/lg stands for Daddy Dom and little girl, but it also known as Daddy Dom and babygirl. Do not be fooled by the name though, it is not gender specific, there are Mommies and little boys as well. It still involves a Dominant (male or female) and a submissive (male or female). Some other names for the dynamic include CG/l (Caregiver/little) and Big/little.

The elements around the D/s lifestyle are pretty similar to that of your typical one which includes guidance, protection, training, and devotion. What makes it different from other well known branches (Master/slave and Master/pet) is that the submissive holds an inner-child side and ageplay is often incorporated in it, so not every Dom is interested in it because of the this. The power exchange between the Daddy/Mommy and little is often lower versus a TPE (total power exchange). There are also different expectations for a little than a slave, for example. Protocols and the expectations may be different or much more relaxed. The dynamic instead focuses on care and guidance for the little, where rules enforced ensure that. While the Daddy stills holds characteristics of a typical Dom, he now also plays a more intimate and nurturing parental role. He does not take the place of a true father figure that is in His sub’s life. Engaging in incest roleplay is not uncommon though and should not be judged.

What is a Daddy Dom or Mommy Domme?

A Daddy, Mommy, or any other Big is a type of Dominant partner. The Big can be of any gender and age group. It's a common misconception that a Big has to be a lot older than the little but this is completely false. While experience does come with age, age alone is not what makes a person Dominant. Some Daddies are strict, while others are more relaxed. It all depends on the person, connection, and the power exchange. Daddies focus more on guidance and nurturing their little, helping them grow as a person and explore theirselves. This isn’t to say that other Doms don’t do the same but their reasons behind it may be different.

Being a Daddy is more than sex and having the ability to control. Being a Daddy is more than just giving spankings. "Daddy" is more than just a name or a title. It's a mindset, it's a personality, it's a way of being. And most importantly it's a great amount of responsibility. To a Daddy, his little is his world and the feeling is mutual. He may see them through the eyes of a parent, but this is not to say that the relationship is incestuous at all, or that the Daddy takes the place of the little's father. They are his most prized possession and a work of art, not in terms of physical appearance, but showing his skill and care as a Dominant. They take on the responsibilities of their little's life, helping relieve some of the stress and guiding them through every day obstacles.

 A Daddy sees potential in his little and does his best to bring it out. Think of finding a rough gem, it’s a gem crafter’s job to cut and shine that gem to show its true potential. Rules are set in place to make sure their little is taking care of themselves. These rules can apply to how they carry out their day, reminding them to take care of proper hygiene, allowing him to choose what they wear, making sure they’re eating healthy, and if they’re on medications that they’re taking them daily. These rules can also apply to internal factors such as encouraging a little to speak up if they’re feeling down, self conscious, or feel that their needs are not being met in the relationship. These rules of encouragement allow the little to speak their mind without fear of being punished or yelled at. And of course there can be rules set in place that are how the little should act towards their Daddy and how to meet his needs. It’s important to emphasize that these needs are not always sexual; submission can be carried out in many different ways. Chores and assignments may also be given to help teach the little responsibility.

 When a little acts out of line, it's his job to teach them right from wrong. Punishments may be given to teach a lesson and they can range from physical punishments, to extra chores, to writing assignments, to loss of privileges. A Daddy does not like punishing his little though, in comparison to how a sadist likes to inflict pain on their bottom. There is no enjoyment in being disappointed and let down, having to correct behavior, or see their little cry with shame. The punishment is not about giving pleasure through pain but it's teaching a lesson and conditioning, providing an action and a lecture as to why it was wrong and what they can do differently to behave better. But after the punishment it's his job to remind the little that once it's over, the issue is dust in the wind.

What is a little?

The term little refers to a submissive that is more of a child-at-heart and plays on their child-like nature. In some communities you'll see that the term's original definition is used a little bit differently and losely, since you can find littles who are more interested in little space but without D/s. For the sake of talking about the dynamic and lifestyle, I'll be using the term with D/s in mind. In general littles may require more care, attention, protection, and guidance than other submissives. Their Dominant partner acts as more of a parental or caregiver figure than other types of Dominants and are typically called names along the lines of Mommy and Daddy, but you’ll find dynamics where the Big partner is another “family” member (sister and brother or even Uncle or Aunt, for example). They feed off each other; the Big giving the support, care, and guidance, while receiving devotion, love, obedience, and playfulness that they may desire.

 Not all littles are ageplayers, and not all ageplayers are submissives. Ageplay is a kink that tends to overlap. Non-ageplay littles tend to share a relationship with their Daddy/Mommy that is full of TLC ("tender loving care"; and what’s mentioned above) to feed the inner child, though the sub does not act out as a child. For littles that engage in ageplay, the little actually does take on a little persona and will roleplay as if she were that age. It can range anywhere from simply wanting to look slightly younger, like a cute dress and pig tails, to wanting a pacifier and coloring books and engaging in childish activities. These activities can be completely non-sexual and for the benefit and happiness of the little, which is why you'll see Daddies/Mommies take part in these activities. Each little is different and has their own interests. From there the Daddy/Mommy takes on His role and acts accordingly, depending on the age, they may need more structure, guidance, and attention than other subs.

It is not uncommon for a Daddy/Mommy to establish rules to teach His little and keep them in line. These rules can range from behavioral rules to every day things such as bedtimes and bathroom privileges. Some couples even create a reward system and chart to praise when the little has been good. At the end of the week or month, prizes are rewarded for good behavior. Like other dynamics, punishments are typically given for littles who break the rules and can range from spankings to loss of privileges.

Please note that the DD/lg dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia. We do not condone the acts of pedophilia and the exploitation of children in any way. Just as adults like to take on other roles in the bedroom such as nurse, pet, porn star, etc. it is all roleplay; that is the same for ageplay. No matter how taboo the roleplay or fantasy, it's harmless as long as no one is being abused. No one is sexualizing children and the dynamic is not pedophilia. Pedophiles would not be interested in adult women anyways, no matter how young they dress or look, because they're attracted to the idea of prepubescent children either for the sake of the easy manipulation and sex or the body. The DD/lg dynamic is like any other aspect of BDSM - it is safe, sane, and consensual between adults. Those who participate in the dynamic should be not be shamed for doing so and should not be accused of having "daddy issues".

  What DD/lg is not...
  • For minors or anyone under 18.
  • gender, sexuality, age (18+), or race specific.
  • just calling your boyfriend or husband "daddy" in bed This would be considered topping and bottoming. There is nothing wrong with that but since it's bedroom play rather than a lifestyle, it differs from a D/s dynamic.
  • the same as sugar daddies and sugar babies.
  • a reason for a submissive to act like a brat and manipulate their Dom/Domme.
  • a way to get spoiled and give nothing in return.

Other explanations of DD/lg:

What is a Daddy Dom? - Alittleunderstanding.com
 What is a little? - Alittleunderstanding.com
What is DD/lg? - Written by romantic-ds
What is a Daddy Dom? - Library for Kinksters
The Wonderful World of Littles - Submissvefeminist

Some questions regarding the dynamic

Q: I want to hop in and be a little/Daddy/Mommy, but I have no experience in the lifestyle.
 A: If you're willing to take the dynamic seriously and have what it takes then hop right in. I recommend joining Fetlife and joining DD/lg groups on there or Tumblr's DD/lg community to learn more. Please remember that owning another person is a very big responsibility. Their safety and well-being lies in your hands. If you don't feel like you can carry on this role and take this responsibility outside of the bedroom then a D/s dynamic may not be for you.

  Q: Do I have to be an older man/woman to be a Daddy/Mommy?
 A: No, this dynamic's roles are not age specific. You will find that a lot of littles prefer older men than younger men but that's simply a preference and living out the fantasy of Nobakov's Lolita (which also has nothing to do with this dynamic). Your age does not disqualify you if you are a Dom and would like to engage in this dynamic.

  Q: Do I have to call my Dom "Daddy"? I feel uncomfortable with that title.
 A:No, you don't. You can call your Daddy or Mommy any title that you're both comfortable with. Being a Daddy or a Mommy is more than titles, anyone can call their partner those names and it doesn’t make them a Daddy Dom/Mommy Domme. A Daddy or Mommy is characterized based on the dynamic they have with their little - the rules and guidelines given, the expectations, the power exchange, taking on a caregiver or parental role, etc.

 Don’t let a dynamic’s title name limit you, it’s simply a name given to describe the type of dynamic and differentiate it from Owner/pet and Master/slave. It’s simply a guideline. You can call your partner anything you both are comfortable with and that doesn’t change your dynamic.

 Here are some alternative names:
Q: Are there set rules or guidelines?
 A: Nope, your relationship is however you create it. But basic understandings of a D/s lifestyle will give you some basic foundation to work from, as well as letting you see how to improve your role or your partner's.

 Q: Can I engage in pet play and still be a little? A: Most definitely and it's very common too. As I've come to learn, the other branches in the D/s dynamic serve as guidelines and give you an idea of what sort of relationship you're aiming for. You're more than welcome to take and omit whatever you'd like.

 Q: Is it all about sex?
 A: Not at all. Unless stated otherwise, D/s relationships are not just about sex. What makes a D/s relationship is the power exchange between then couple. Many DD/lg couples are in intimate, romantic relationships and carry on with their mixed (vanilla and kink) lives together just like vanilla couples. Also servitude and submission can be shown in many other ways and that's for you and your partner to discuss. So if you're asexual, you can most definitely carry on this sort of dynamic.

Q: What is the different between DD/lg and ageplay?
 A: DD/lg is a D/s dynamic and involves a power exchange between the Dom and sub. ABDL and ageplay are not, instead they are forms of roleplay whether it’s sexual or not. They can be incorporated into a relationship involving power exchanges. If you'd like a more in depth answer, please click herehttp://daddys-doll.blogspot.com/2016/02/ddlg-vs-ageplay-revamped.html.

Q: What makes a good Daddy/Mommy?

Q: Do I have to like girly things or like baby things?
I get this question a lot. A lot of new littles think they don't fit in with what the "ideal little look" or persona. There's no set look to be a little. You don't have to like what others like, such as pacifiers, diapers, Disney princesses, MLP, etc. You don't have to engage in ageplay. You don't have to dress up in girly clothing or like cutesy pastel colors.

Don't let others tell you you're not a little because you don't like what they like.

Q: Where can I meet a Daddy, Mommy, or other littles.

  • Fetlife:
Ageplay Personals - You may or may not find Daddy/Mommy Doms/Dommes in this group. I say this because ageplay and DD/lg are slightly different, and not every ageplayer is looking for a Dom when they look for a Daddy or Mommy. But you can definitely find friends or playmates in here. Daddy - lil girl/babygirl Personals
Daddy Doms/Babygirl submissives 
Daddy Doms and Babygirls
Daddy ~ girl Relationships

To view these groups you will need to join Fetlife. Fetlife is strictly for 18+. Make your account and fill out your profile. Make sure you talk about yourself and what you're looking for. Aside from the groups mentioned above, join groups that are centered around your city or a large city around you. Munches and events are a great way to meet people and learn new things.
      *Please note that personals posts should only be posted in personals groups. If it's posted outside of those, your post may be seen as spam and deleted.
  • DDlgworld.com - A DD/lg (CG/l or Big/little) friendly forum for Bigs and littles of all kinds to make friends, discuss topics, and talk about their relationships.
  • Littlespace Online - A DD/lg, CG/l, ageplay, and ABDL community.

Last edited:  August 3, 2015


151 comments:

  1. this was so helpful ! I'm gonna send it to my little one right away ! now we can finally do this for real.

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    1. I'm glad to hear this. Best of luck to you both.

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    2. Hia so im a baby girl and i love my daddh but i have a sister and she's only 14 and she wants to be in the DD/lg life and idk what to do about this any advise?

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    3. First of, I think you telling your sister about your relationship it's great. (if you did though...^_^") I mean... it's simply wow!
      Anyway, you should probably tell her to wait, she's still young and maybe in a couple years she will lose all the interest in this type of dynamic. I know what I'm talking about, because I'm quite young too hehe. At that age she IS little and her tastes are surely going to change in the future. Your sister might just regret her choses in a few years, so is your job to protect her (let's be honest, not all daddies are good people).
      Tell her that wait really worth it, and that she has to be patient but this doesn't mean she can't have her own experiences like every other teenager.
      Btw sorry for my English, as I already said I'm still young and learning XD

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    4. Well, this is definitely my relationship with my wife. I'm the Daddy and she's my babygirl.

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  2. very very enjoyable read

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  3. I love being Daddy's baby-girl, and now we can dive deeper into it. This blog was so helpful for us to know we can make the lifestyle to fit our own personal wants and needs and take it further. We are really excited! Thank you!

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  4. I'm more tailored to a M/s relationship, so jumping into a DD/lg relationship as a Daddy is quite a change for me, especially since I was the servant! I love my little with every ounce of my being and more. so I am more than happy to leave my comfort zone for her since it will mean so much to her.

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  5. I love being daddy's queen. He and I share our babygirl completely. Everything that babygirl is allowed to experience includes both mommy and daddy. In baby girl's presence he is always referred to as daddy/papi and me as mommy/mami. When we are alone I am his queen and he is my king and the love of my life. Has anyone else had experience with this?

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    1. Oh I've got a Daddy but I really want a Mommy too! Your baby girl is so lucky!!!

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  6. I'm just starting out, have the most wonderful little, and am still learning the ins-and-outs. This has been a great help.
    Thanks

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  7. Thank you for sharing this information this is very nice blog thank you for giving this info
    Groobers

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  8. Thank you for sharing this information this is very nice blog thank you for giving this info
    Groobers

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  9. I am in a DD/BG relationship, but we don't use age play and I call him Sir, not Daddy. Sir uses my full first name (which not many people do). We are trying to think of something for him to call me in the bedroom. We have actual children together, so I think it makes it tricky. Any suggestions?

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  10. So you labeled women with daddy issues as a lifestyle now? Lol pathetic.

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    1. You very clearly didn't bother reading this post and just commented to stir up issues. DD/lg has nothing to do with daddy issues or any sort of Freudian concept. It's a very common misconception.
      DD/lg is just like any other D/s dynamic within the lifestyle but it's very commonly accompanied by ageplay.

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    2. Lol. I most definitely don't have daddy issues. My father and i have a great normal father daughter relationship. I could never see my father as anything other than that.

      My daddy is a whole other person not related to me in any way. What I find really pathetic is that you went out of your way to find a blog and people to insult about a lifestyle you'll unfortunately never understand. You're the pathetic one here. XD

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    3. Hey he's allowed his opinion! I personally just looked at this in response yo a girl I was interested but I have my qualms with this too. You're the one who got all defensive..

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    4. He's rude and judgemental. That was not an opinion. Do you know what an opinion is? Because insulting people and calling them pathetic is not an opinion.

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    5. Wow. Just because you don't understand it, everyone else has the issues? You're the pathetic one.

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  11. Im just beginning to look into this lifestyle with my Dom so thank you for this info !

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  12. I'm new to this but enjoyed the writing immensley.

    My query is about abuse - personally I was abused at 8/9 (and older) yet I wish to enter into the D/lg dynamic. Sir & I were going to use similar ages to that mentioned above but I am concerned that the trauma I suffered in life may rear its head during our play and it puts me off slightly.

    Suggestions or comments would be helpful. X

    NB: Sir & have discussed this already and He is aware of my concerns. Guess I'm wondering other people's views!

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    1. I have read that it may be helpful to eventually go into the trauma itself and explore what happened, so there can be a sense of closure, while in the care of your dominant, much like facing spiders slowly and steadily so that the fear can be overcomed eventually.

      I wonder how it turned out for you two.

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    2. Actually you may do yourself a favor and purchase a workbook for PTSD, I had a friend of mine I never knew was raped, it helped immensely on overcoming the trauma

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    3. I have a history of abuse both in childhood and my past relationship and though Papi knew about that going into our relationship we never thought I'd find a sort of healing during our journey. But that is exactly what happened. We aren't into ageplay so I never revisited a certain age or anything... Just having Papi to look up to and share with. I trust him so much I shared with him things I have never shared with anyone. Good luck!

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    4. Thank you for sharing this. My girlfriend was raped and abused by her biological father multiple times between the age of 5-10 years. We've recently gotten into this sort of DD/lg dynamic, which she loves, and I've found it creates a remarkable level of openness and nonjudgement between us that has gotten us on the path to healing. Surprises of life, right?

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  13. I have had some bad experiences with women in my love life before... broken hearted, cheated on... but I adore the female sex. I will still be seeking the love of my life with women although I have been burned by women before. Some counseling might be needed but not even necessarily so. I think you would get a ton of happiness from this subject and probably more love and feelings of adoration than stirring up memories. Probably healing instead of hurting. So.. don't be afraid to enjoy the thrilling turn-ons of being in a DD/lg relationship... don't throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak.

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  14. I have a Daddy Dom, and I can call him either Daddy or by his given name if I choose. I prefer Daddy, because I love being his little girl. This doesn't mean I have "Daddy issues", it means that there is still a part of me that loves reading fairy tales, coloring, (which sometimes can be very relaxing for me), and getting to play tea party and silly board games. And my Daddy likes to see me have fun by indulging my inner child and allowing her to play once in a while.

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  15. Reading this just made me very sad. I am a little without a daddy. Its not just a lifestyle choice for, I feel like when I'm not being little I'm wearing a mask and pretending to be something I'm not. This just made me think of all I'm missing out on.

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    1. I feel the same way.

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    2. i need a LG write me if you need one. im very caring gente lovig. mabus3hp@yahoo.com im an older man. 43 usa an online relationship can be a good start to understanding. you are still young, but in 2 years you will be even more mature.

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  16. I've been a in DD/lg relationship for a while and didn't there was a name for. My little is quite grown, mature, and sexy although has some childlike interests; cartoons, coloring, crafts. She enjoys being totally submissive to me in the bedroom and out. She always says I'm her protector, and keep anything from harming her. Very fulfilling for both of us. It's a beautiful life!

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  17. I love this blog. I love being a little. Until I found my Daddy I felt as if something was missing in my life. I now feel completely at ease with who I am. Any Dom sub relationship builds a massive amount of trust and a bond that is so much stronger than My other but DD/lg for me is perfect.
    Love to read more and other people's experience of opinions

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  18. this was a really interesting read
    ive just started getting into this my husband and i always considered it a master/slave type thing but that is only when we engage in sexual activities but reading up on DD/lg that seems to be what we have with the way he treats me and the way i act since i still watch kid movies and when im in bed i snuggle with a blanky and honestly maybe its because i had a horrible childhood and he treats me the way i always wish i had been treated. i never really thought about it until we were looking at a fetish tumblr for ideas and saw DD/lg and googled it and it brought us here and ive been reading through several of your posts now and have been learning alot about it.

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  19. As of today I am a little. This has helped me. Although I would like to read something written by another little.

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  20. please love yourself. don't let someone treat you this way because they take advantage of your low self esteem. this is not mentally healthy for you

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    1. I love myself enough that I am comfortable with my sexuality, body, and personality that I don't feel the need to dictate the lives of others. I chose the lifestyle.

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    2. Anonymous, you are clearly misunderstanding the dynamic in this relationship. A Daddy does not take advantage of your low self esteem, but BUILDS your self esteem and helps you to become the woman that the rest of the world has not allowed you to become. It is about revisiting who you were before the world told you you couldn't be that girl. YOU are the one demeaning people here. Think before you write something online because you could be hurting people. You are fulfilling your own need to feel superior, you are NOT helping anyone here. Selfish.

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  21. I'm so glad you wrote this. I've wanting to be apart of DD/lg, but I didn't know that much about it, and after reading this, it had answer every question I had, so thank you :-)

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    1. I'm glad to hear that. If you have any more specific questions let me know and I'll see how I can help. :)

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  22. I"m So so so so so glad I found this. I have always be a little at heart, but kept it hidden away out of embarassment. I talked to my Daddy about it, and he helped me feel so much better, and this helped even more. People need to understand that there is NOTHING wrong with this dynamic!

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    1. Ooh my gosh, you sound sooo excited!!
      i was also when Daddy explained to me exactly why he calls me princess and likes being called Daddy. 8 hours later, here i am, panicking!! i have been independent for soo long, how do i just let that go? am a very strong character and i think he likes that, but being his Lil means this won't just be a bedroom game, How am I going to turn from my hard-earned strong character to being a sweet lil' girl?
      i must admit it's scary!!
      I adore him, i truly do, but this is life changing, am going to lose myself in him!! OMG

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  23. I am new to DD/lg and I recently met my first Daddy. I tried asking what he likes and how I could be a good lg and he told me he just wanted to have fun...I have realized that by fun he means only talking to me when he needs pleasure...I know I am new but this doesn't feel like the right dynamic?

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    1. Hi there, sorry for the late reply. First off, if he's only talking to you when it's convenient for him then it's clear that he's only using you and your playtimes as a way to get off. These kinds of guys are typically called HNG aka horny net geeks. Being Daddy is much more than sex and it sounds like your Daddy either doens't know this or doesn't care.

      Remember that your pleasure, happiness, and wellbeing matter. If you're being neglected or being used, you have a right to bring that up and even walk away. You deserve someone who is willing to provide much more for you than sex; you deserve someone who will love you, cherish your company, and will help you grow as a person a submissive.

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  24. This is very well written and informative. I think too many people misunderstand the DDLG dynamic after quickly looking up the meaning of the acronym. I'll direct such people to this article when I next encounter them.

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  25. Thanks for the info I'm on Fetlife and met a girl that wants this type of relationship.

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  26. This was a great post for someone attempting to understand and explore the Daddy/Little Girl Dynamic. My girlfriend of several years had just recently confessed to it and I feel closer to her than ever now. I just want to try to be the best "Daddy" I can be for her.

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  27. I've directed quite a few people to your writings about Ddlg. I think you have a good explanation that helps more vanilla people understand it and not think it's some horrible perversion.

    When I told my now-Daddy about being interested in Daddy/little girl play he did some Google searches. Your site was found and he learned a lot about Ddlg basics. It was a great resource at the time since he was new and fresh to it all.

    It's long overdue for me to say but thank you for taking the time and effort into creating things like this for reference material. It's more helpful than you probably even know.

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  28. I have always tried to hide my childlike side especially sense I'm 25 and expected to act a certain way by society. I recently realized I was a little and most importantly .... I'm not alone. It feels so completely amazing to know there are other people out there like myself. I have recently started a relationship with my Dom "Daddy". He likes being called Daddy but hates the childish behavior ( I admit when I'm deep into it I can't stop it in public) like the sweet little girl talk (He calls baby talk)or crossing my arms when I'm upset or wanting to get bubbles or watch cartoons. He says I have daddy issues and that it's a turn off for Him....but I slip into this state when I feel safe/ secure with Him and I can't make myself get out of it that easily. It's His first DD/lg relationship as well. But I'm afraid with me being so new I may need an experienced DD. I slipped into subspace for the first time yesterday and there was no aftercare or anything. It's a 24/7 relationship and He says as a sub my needs are not what comes first and I can't ever talk about the relationship or what I need because He gets angry with me. I'm new to this and He has only been with a masochistic. I'm not sure if I should just listen to Him and try to stop the childish behavior because He is in charge or if there is a way to work around it somehow if I can. I need some advice please. I don't want to make a newbie mistake....but I know I'm a little at heart and it's what makes me happy

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    1. It sounds to me that the DD/lg dynamic is right for you but wrong for the Dom you are with. It sounds like he is only interested in a Master /slave type relationship (and probably shouldn't even be a Dom at all if he won't provide after care, it's important) so honestly it sounds like you aren't right for each other. The Dom/sub or Daddy/little relationship is symbiotic, your needs are very much important and a good Dom should take care of you; a man isn't a Dom without a sub. As a Daddy myself I would never treat a little as you described. Although the Dominant partner holds the power in the relationship, as they say "with great power comes great responsibility."

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    2. I have to agree with Anon here. There's much more to being a Daddy than simply being called Daddy. While all Daddies are Doms, not all Doms are Daddies. They share many similar characteristics with other types of Doms, but DD/lg is a dynamic known to focus more on caring for the inner child and being a little more gentle; not relying as much on strict protocols.

      My biggest issue with what you said is the lack of aftercare. All good Doms and tops take aftercare very seriously because some forms of play require physical care (bandages, massages, etc.) and psychological care due to the release of hormones and neurotransmitters that affect our mood and other important factors. This is not a matter of “sub needs” (which are important), but a matter of providing you with care, love, and reassurance.
      A Daddy, or even a partner, should never talk down to you like he does, like when you mentioned he says you have Daddy issues. He’s only adding on to the problem by shaming you and making you hide your little self by buying into misconceptions.
      It seems like your Dom isn’t the right Daddy for you. There are obviously different needs and expectations between the both of you. Your Dom also has a lot to learn as someone interested in the lifestyle as well. A Dom’s first job is to always make sure that their sub is being cared for and their basic human needs are being met, that’s just part of responsibility of power exchanges.
      Never stop being who you are and what feels right to you. A partner should compliment your life and encourage you to be yourself and be the best you can be.

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    3. Woah woah woah. As a sub your needs are EXACTLY what comes first! It's ALL about aftercare, otherwise you are in an ABUSIVE relationship, not a Dom/sub relationship.

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  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  30. I am fairly new to being a little. I have a daddy who is very sweet and caring. I have been reading a lot about dd/lg and I'm kind of iffy on something. My daddy has set rules for me finally but has set one of his rules as to not to tell him no. He said he would punish me if I broke the rules which I understand. The thing I'm iffy on is that sometimes he wants me to do things I'm not really comfortable with doing. Would it be wrong for him to punish me for saying no to something I am not comfortable with doing?

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    1. That's actually really poor behavior from a Daddy or even any type of Dominant. You always have the right to say no. You have a right to decline anything that makes you uncomfortable or that you're just not up to. You have a right to safe words too. Basically you should never be punished for declining something and speaking your mind.
      Bring it up to him and ask for clarification. My ex girlfriend was given the same rule by her boyfriend but it only applied to certain things. She was never punished but the rule was more like, "Master is alright right." While it works for them, it's probably more because they're closer to a real Master/slave dynamic, whereas this can be seen as uncommon for a DD/lg dynamic.
      If he insists on taking your ability to say yes and you're not comfortable with it then you'll need to rethink things because this can turn into abusive behavior.

      Delete
  31. My daddy and I have a great relationship, but I think we want different things. He only wants to act as daddy in times we have sex or play, but i want to carry some aspects of the relationship out in public too. I tried asking about it, but he didn't agree..I'm not sure what to do?!

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    Replies
    1. It sounds like your Daddy is more of a kinkster than a lifestyler. This alone isn't an issue since some people don't have the interest in commitment or responsibility of a long term dynamic and that's completely okay. But if your case it sounds like it's becoming a problem since some of your needs aren't being met.

      Ask about seeking a non-sexual Daddy Dom that would be willing to take care of those needs that your boyfriend isn't interested in. Or ask your boyfriend about coming to compromise. Maybe he'd be willing to incorporate some things into every day life.

      Delete
  32. I found your blog as I was searching for ways to be a better Daddy for my girl. We are long distance but very devoted to one another. Your guidance on nurturing is especially helpful. Right now we are committed and exclusive, though I feel that's putting a strain on her since she is actually younger than I am (though an adult). I'd like to know if you have ideas about how we can be more closely bonded, I can bring nurturing guidance into our relationship, help her to grow, and hopefully preserve this relationship for a long time. I would like to explore how we can maintain and build on our sexual connection as well. My apologies if this seems a little rambling. Neither of us is completely versed in this dynamic, though we both know this is what we need.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm just starting to look into this kind of lifestyle...and from reading this i feel like i might be i guess like "part-time" little or somthing...i don't know and i really don't know much anyways since I've only been reading about this for about a week

    ReplyDelete
  34. I recently met a girl, and I like her a lot. Today, she asked me if I would be into DD/LG. I asked what that meant. I'd never heard of this before. To make a longish story short, she explained some, and then looked stricken and started to cry.
    This article explains a lot. So my question is. What do I say to her? I'm not against doing this, I can see getting into it. I don't want to lose her, but don't want her to think I am any less caring about her. That I don't think she is weird. That I would not be better off, and she should not just go away. Any advice?

    ReplyDelete
  35. I really want to be a Little but im only 14 years old, but i love the lifestyle and i think its amazing but lots say you have to be 18 or older :(

    ReplyDelete
  36. Please don't be discouraged or take it the wrong way. There are many reasons why the DD/lg lifestyle is recommended for adults only. It's not meant to leave you out or make you feel bad for having an interest in DD/lg, it's completely normal.

    DD/lg is a part of BDSM, more specifically D/s, and we live by the motto "Safe, sane, consensual". As a minor, by law, minors are not able to properly consent due to rush of hormones, lack of self control, and being easily persuaded by others (sometimes adults). And because much of the lifestyle deals with adult topics, most communities don't allow minors for the same reason.

    Another big issue is the misunderstanding of the dynamic by outsiders. It's not uncommon for adult men to catch wind of DD/lg, not know anything about it, and see it as a way to be a predator. There are still plenty of men who think the dynamic is incest roleplay or living out pedophilic fantasies. As a community we do our best to keep creeps away in general, as you know we also do our best to deny accusations that the dynamic supports pedophilia. But it's harder when minors come in and swoon over these men who promise them the moon and stars.

    Another issue is the reality of the dynamic and how much work, time, effort, and understanding is involved. I understand it's appealing, especially when it's become a trend on Tumblr. The Tumblr posts of the dynamic is very misleading. All those posts you see about, "Daddy touch me," "Daddy play with me," "Daddy spank me," are not even half of what this really is. Take a normal, vanilla relationship and double the responsibilities for one partner. A Big's (Daddy, Mommy, etc.) responsibility is taking on their partner's life and wellbeing in their hands. They're not only loving and caring for their little, but guiding them in every day life struggles as well as helping them explore their needs and desires. Many of these things that a Big should be able to guide a little through or provide can't really be done by a teen/minor due to lack of life experience.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Not sure how my relationship can be classified. My girl and I are somewhat in this situation but, it's even deeper. She doesn't just call me Daddy but, Dad and Father. I call her my Daughter. Not just in name or pet calling but, she truly see's me as her Father. What makes it even more unusual is the fact that I am older than her biological father and she is 26 years my junior. I have a daughter older than her. Her biological father has never been in her life. She knows about him but, there is no relationship or communication between them. By all accounts minus the father/daughter dynamic and age difference....we operate as a normal couple. I have to admit that seeing msgs like: I need my father inside me or hearing her say I'm in love with you Dad while we are making love seems out of the norm. How could you classify this type of relationship?

    ReplyDelete
  38. I love ur blog it help me expain to my daddy exactly what I was into. We have been together for 10 years and I finally got the nerve up to ask him to be my daddy. At first he was confused then I showed him ur post and he fell in love with the ddlg lifestyle. It gets hard for us cuz I can't always go into my little space when I need to because of our kids do u have any tips on how I can make sure my daddy know I'm always his princess?

    ReplyDelete
  39. I want a daddy but not a sexual one at the moment coz I've had bad experiences
    And I also am depressed and I self harm but I'm trying to stop but I feel like I need someone else there to help me and when I came across this I feel like having a daddy could help
    But if no one wants to its fine as well

    ReplyDelete
  40. How do you find a non-sexual daddy becuase I want to have a daddy but I can't have a sexual one becuase I have a past a really bad past about sex but I'm also depressed and I self harm but I'm trying to stop and then I found this and I want a daddy to help me stop
    But I'm also 14 and I don't know if I'm allowed a daddy at this age
    But I'd like a daddy so yeah

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hi,
    I really liked your blog. I am new to the whole DDLG thing and wanted to do some research on it to see if I was doing it right. From what I have read I have a wonderful daddy and I am a great little princess.
    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hi, I have a question. I tried expolring in this dynamic and had a talk with a dom, but I'm a lil underage. The dom told me that maybe I should wait a little cause I maybe confused because of the absence of a father. I also don't want sex.

    So. . .awkward question I know. . .but can u tell the difference between this relationship and between an actual father and child?
    I want to clear things out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You really shouldn't be pursuing a Dom or this dynamic if you're under 18 (or whatever the age of consent is in your country). DD/lg, as well as any activity within BDSM, is strictly for consenting adults. As a minor, you cannot legally give consent and any activity you take part in that is sexual with an adult is rape. Do yourself a favor and save it until you're of age, as well as being kind enough to protect adults who do not and should not be involved with minors. We have enough issues with this dynamic being framed as pedophilic and incestuous, having kids take part in it does not help the cause.

      You should take more time to learn about the dynamic and what is means to be a little and have a Mommy/Daddy/Big. A Big may take on parental roles such as giving rules, bed times, and allowing a little to regress, but they are not a parent at all. Most do not want to be seen as one, they will not refer to themself as one, nor do they want to take the place of a littles' parents.

      Delete
  43. I have been interested in this but idk exactly how to explain this to my boyfriend. I mean we do some of this withoit realizing so i think tje transition wont be awkward for him. Any advice?

    ReplyDelete
  44. This has been so helpful, I have been a slave and a sub but my new Dom is really turned on by this dynamic and so I am trying to become his baby girl this has helped me to understand

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm just now getting into DD/LG and found this super helpful but I was wondering how to make the transition easier from vanilla to this, I have a super awesome boyfriend who's up for anything I'm into for the sake of me and so far he's been great about trying this out but he's slightly hesitant about having it in our daily lives outside of the bedroom so I was wondering if you had any tips on making it easier for him to feel comfortable without going full blown DD/LG outside of the bedroom and into our daily lives. Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  46. So glad I can still be a little and just call my Lover, Onii-chan, because we both agreed it made us a little uncomfortable using the term daddy, seeing as thats what I call my real father. Not to mention my Onii-chan is more of a brotherly dom than a daddydom <3 I was worried that the dd/lg community wouldn't except me as a little because I dislike using the word daddy. After all, I'm just started to except myself as a little and a kitten.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I really enjoy all sorts of taboo and ageplay and would love to chat about it. Please kik me at amberlikestaboo

    ReplyDelete
  48. Simply fascinating. I recently learned two of my friends were in this kind of relationship and I wanted to know more about what it was.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I'm 16 almost 17 do you think I'm to young? I'm really interested in dd/lg and I wanna try it

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    Replies
    1. You're never too young to be have curious of have an interest in something, but unfortunately you are too young to responsibly take part of DD/lg or any part of BDSM. It's simply because BDSM is a lifestyle for adults and relies on safe, sane, and consensual practices and by law a minor cannot consent.
      Feel free to take this time further your reading and understanding of DD/lg though. The more you understand about your little side and little space, interests, and the safety behind the D/s practices, you'll be able to search for a Daddy when you're of age and rest assured that you know what you want and can give in the relationship. :)

      Delete
  50. I admit I find this type of d/s lifestyle disturbing and do not agree that even a pretend incestuous relationship should be condoned. Though i do understand that in general this is not the point of this type of d/s. However I do respect that consenting ADULTS, of sound mind, can choose what they want. How can I make or help a 16 year old to understand that she is too young to be participating in this? We believe the relationship she is in is emotionally abusive and have tried to put a stop to it with little success. Not because of the dd/lg, we felt this before finding out about this. The "daddy" is a 15 yr old transgender (girl wants to be boy, sorry not sure of correct term). Besides being minors, neither of them are in a place to be deciding to be in this type of situation. They both have issues with depression, self harm, anxiety, and of course the issues that come with being transgender. We don't know how to get through to her that at this point this is wrong. I have tried talking with her about the dynamics of this type of lifestyle and asked and demanded she stop. I explained that once she is an adult if this is what she wants then that is her choice, though I encouraged her to really find out about it. she has refused to stop. We are trying to find a therapist in our area that knows about this stuff but it is proving difficult. If anyone reads this, do you have any advice on how to talk to her? I won't lie, I am very judgemental about this and it is difficult to talk about because I feel this is wrong and have seen some of their conversations and find them disgusting. I am trying to be better but this is driving a huge rift between her and us.

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    Replies
    1. Okay you may have problems with this lifestyle/dynamic and that is completely fine we all have our own opinions. But maybe you having a problem with this lifestyle/dynamic may be one of the reasons why the 16 year old is participating in the lifestyle/dynamic or relationship. Her seeing you have a problem with this lifestyle/dynamic and/or her relationship and you trying to make her stop this may be her way of rebelling against you. What I think you should do is show her that you don't have a problem with her relationship or the lifestyle/dynamic even if you do have a problem with it. You should also show her this article and other articles like this so if the relationship is abusive she can see that abuse is not part of the lifestyle/dynamic. And also that if she is truely interested in the lifestyle/dynamic that she should wait until she is older and an adult and can find someone who actually cares for her and that doesn't abuse her. I know it may be hard for you to act like you don't have a problem with this lifestyle/dynamic but this is most likely her way of rebelling. But if she does stop the relationship but still has interests in this lifestyle/dynamic you have to be supportive of her decision when she is an adult. Because otherwise if you don't it might drive a bigger wedge between you and her.

      Delete
  51. Could it be possible for same sex couples to be a ddlg relationship (like a Mommy and little girl or a Daddy and little boy)? I've heard of poly relationships where there'd be a mommy, a daddy, and a child, so I was just wondering.

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    Replies
    1. Of course. The dynamic itself is not heterosexual only. :)

      Delete
  52. Ok So I'm currently in a relationship and I just started learning what ddlg really was and it really peaked my interest and I can totally see myself as being a little but my boyfriend doesn't like it he thinks it's weird and creepy. I tried to talk to him about it and tell him that it's not and that if he just did a little research on it then I'm sure he won't think about it that way anymore and he just won't listen to me. How can I show him that it's not as bad as he's making it out to be

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  53. I'm interested in this but I'm already in d/s relationship as a hypnoslave. This is rather different and I'm wondering how would I bring this up and would I still be able to be part of the other relationship?

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  54. I guess I started my journy into BDSM as a kid watching TV adventure/action shows in the 60's and 70's, All those tied up women, getting spanked etc. It made me feel something even if I didn't understand it. The Daddy aspect was awakened at about age 40 when I first had a younger woman call me Daddy in a sexual nature. It struck deep and rang true.
    As with most, it really has nothing to do with real incest or paedophilia, But for me personally? While I would never condone harming a child? That forbidden flavour does add to the dynamic.

    ReplyDelete
  55. What a great blog, and great comments too. I have always been into roleplay, ageplay and fantasy incest so when my wife wanted to get into this for our sex life, nothing fit better! We do keep it ONLY for a sex life - I can't be mixing this stuff up in my daily responsibilities as a father (not Daddy) and my wife is a very strong person outside of the bedroom.

    That being said, it is VERY unfortunate to be reading comments from interested "littles" about Daddies not respecting them / caring for their limits / providing aftercare. As a bottom/little, YOUR DESIRES AND BOUNDARIES DETERMINE THE COLLECTIVE DESIRES AND BOUNDARIES. Everyone should read "The New Bottoming Book" and "New Topping Book" by Dossie Easton a read. They changed my life when I learned about topping.

    Have fun everyone!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Also, to the blog owner/commenter, your advice is wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  57. This is definitely me and my wife. I'm daddy and she is my babygirl. And daddy gets what daddy wants. But I'm not manipulative and I am responsible and we have a great relationship.

    I like the post, my wife made me read this and I actually liked it. Described everything I liked just about. Anyways thanks for the post!

    ReplyDelete
  58. I thought you had some wonderful information here, and it was all very informative, as is the rest of your blog!

    I do have one question: I'm particularly into AB/DL, and I identify as a baby girl, even though I'm biologically a boy. Do you believe that many Daddies/Mommies are willing to care for their littles 24/7 as long as they aren't being taken advantage of? I strongly desire living and playing in a nursery and being diapered all the time, not just now and again, but I'd be willing to do so much for my Daddy/Mommy in return, and I would constantly show them how appreciative I am of them for taking care of me.

    Basically, do you believe this is fairly common, to be completely, 100% dependent on the Daddy/Mommy in this way, and that finding one to do this for me wouldn't be too hard, as long as I'm willing to give back plenty of love and obedience?

    ReplyDelete
  59. Hi, I..I'm a little. My "Daddy" Allows me to call him by my nickname of choice to him.... but im completely new... i....i've never been a little before....

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  60. Hihi, I'm a little. Daddy said I should do some research on ddlg so that I can understand the relationship more. He is the only person I've ever been with so this is the only life I know. He says I needs to learn more so I can be smarterer. But there are things I still don't know. For example, I read about sub space but everytime I look it up it talks about after care. I just wanna know what it is before I learn how to help it. Can anyone explain? Is it like little space?

    Also my daddy had a gf before me and she was the only other little he has had, but I constantly worry that I'm not as good as her. I have always had a low self-esteem but daddy makes everything better. But when I not with daddy I start thinking about it again. Does anyone know what I should do? My solution was to be with daddy 24/7 but apparently I not aloud to go to work with him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there! I'm so happy yu Daddy's asking you to do your research too. This ensures your safety and shows he cares about you and wants you to know what you're getting into. So kudos on your first step into the dynamic.

      Sub space and little space are very different things. Little space is a safe space in your mind. It's where you can regress or simply be little while feelig safe and free of judgement.
      Sub space is a physiological phenomena where your body experiences an endorphine rush (and eventual crash) due to over stimulation, pleasure, and even pain. After a sub has come down from the rush, they may feel emotional, hurt, confused, or insecure and this is where aftercare comes to play. If let untreated the emotional aspect of it can linger for days. Aftercare includes a number of items, first aid, activities, and responses used to calm a person down and help their brain's chemicals normalize.

      As for comparing yourself to your Daddy's former little, I think it's important to remember she's part of the past for a reason. Whatever that reason is, it's said and done; your Daddy has you and chose you because you're special. You should never compare yourself to another person because everyone is special in their own way since no two humans are the same. You may share some similarities but it's also the differences that makes him love you for you.

      Delete
    2. Thank you so much. That really does help. Daddy says my self esteem is too low and he wishes I could see me the way he does. U helped with that a lot. Thank u.

      Delete
  61. Is it normal for a "daddy" to be fine with his little acting and looking like a young child as a way to raise her and help her grow? My "daddy" said i can look and act five and grow under his supervision,(daddy lets me call him a nickname.) Is that normal of this life style. im a first time little.

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  62. Yes. Completely Normal. Thats usually how all littles are.

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  63. Thank you for sharing this information, I'd like to see what you think of Kik Friends in one of your next posts please!

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  64. Hi! I love this, thank you for taking the time to explain to people what the community is and is about. I have been a little for quite some time, and currently have a daddy. Neither of us a new to cgl but recently I've noticed that I've been wanting a big brother/sister (I'm polyamorous but currently only seeing one person, my daddy) I was wondering if it would be weird to ask my daddy to see if he wanted to be my big brother sometimes as well as my daddy. Is this weird? Can a caregiver only have one role? (Daddy, mommy, brother, ect.)

    Thank you for your time.

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  65. I am just beginning a relationship with a woman I like a lot. She brought up being interested in DDLG (my best friend has been involved in DDLG relationships for a long time so it isn't a foreign concept to me but I never considered trying it). I figured if I'm going to be in a relationship I should at least look into the DD/LG lifestyle and give it some thought. I honestly didn't know too much about it aside from the sheer basics, however reading this gave me a much better idea and grasp on this dynamic and I feel it's something I could greatly enjoy. You did an amazing job writing this and I wanted to thank you greatly!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  66. My girl told me about this and we have started this style of relationship, but the punishment aspect of it makes me uncomfortable as I have seen abuse in my life and can't stand the idea of raising my hand to a woman even in the parental way this lifestyle suggests does anyone have any suggestions on how I can work around this or can anyone give me any tips. thankyou

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't have experience in this exact kind of relationship, but as a sub I can tell you that mental punishments are much worse to me than physical ones - maybe it would fit the dynamic to have her do some chores and not be allowed to do specific things until she either finishes them and/or shows an appropriate amount of remorse? I personally like having tasks to complete more than simple pain, as having my dom be proud of me when I was doing well assuages the guilt and makes me feel I earned being his good girl again :)

      Delete
    2. Update, very likely that I came at this too much from the standpoint of a differenty dynamic. Just found this thread on fetlife which should be interesting to you if you're still wondering!
      https://fetlife.com/groups/509/group_posts/9537609

      Delete
  67. My girl told me about this and we have started this style of relationship, but the punishment aspect of it makes me uncomfortable as I have seen abuse in my life and can't stand the idea of raising my hand to a woman even in the parental way this lifestyle suggests does anyone have any suggestions on how I can work around this or can anyone give me any tips. thankyou

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My daddy doesnt always have to hit to punish me. He takes away my stuffies, he explains what i did wrong and tells me hes disappointed in me, he takes away my candy or my paci, sometimes he just looks at me a certain way and i know i did bad. If you dont feel comfortable then start out small and make sure she knows whats going on. For me, all i want is to make my daddy happy and i know its the same for him.

      Delete
  68. Hello, iv'e found this web site very helpful and informational so thank you.
    I am in fact underage, and do not plan to pursue this life style until i am 18 because i understand that i could put myself or someone else in danger.
    however, i would like advice on how to go about it when i reach 18, i am a very ambitious and mature person, i would like to be a business owner when i am older, and i under stand that that takes a lot of time and dedication, so i am worried that with college and managing a business, i will never fully emerge in what i feel could be a very happy and fulfilling lifestyle for me. so i would like to explore it as soon as i am 18, i would like a recommendation on where to find a respectable mentor to teach me more about it when i am of age. i am naturally submissive, and very affectionate and loving , but very stubborn and headstrong and sometimes suffer from mild depression that runs in my family (nothing extreme) but it is something that often effects my moods and makes me somewhat rude or standoffish even though i try not to be.
    so i would like to live as a little.
    thank you, and i hope you take the time to respond Daddys-doll ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  69. Hello! I just want to thank the author for writing this artical. I've have been thinking about the DD/LG relationship and I think it fits just fine with me! I'm a Daddy and I'm crushing on an amazing little who i think likes me back! At first i was a little new to alot of this but this artile has gaven me all of the information i need. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  70. Hello thanks for this article fist and formost my little and I started as Dom/sub and it just wasn't working our love was too strong and I could never bring myself to truly punish her hatshly so we did some research and found Dd/lg was perfectly us I've always been daddy to her and she's always been my baby girl who I just wanted to nurture and protect with my rules so this is now our lifestyle.

    My question here is my babygirl's little age is 16 and I've been told that she can't really be a little because she identifies as an older teen I completely disagree and don't really take others opinions seriously because everyone is different but I think saying she isn't a little because she isn't childlike enought is ridiculous I'd love to hear your thoughts on this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's definitely a little and no one can say otherwise. Being a little is about your dynamic with her and how she feels as a submissive partner. No one else has a say in it just because she doesn't fit their idea of the perfect little. Middles, as they're commonly called, are preteen and teenage littlespace ages and are just as valid as littles who regress younger.

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
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  73. Hello. I love your blog and all the tips you give in it. I was wondering if you could give me some help. I have a 24/7 DDLG dynamic. My daddy does so many things for me. How do I contribute to him? Would cooking dinner or cleaning up not fit my role? Thanks for the help.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Hello. I don't know if this is still active but I know I am a true little. I have been into this for quite a while as a little with no Daddy, but I have recently found one and I am scared I don't have the right one. He said he's into the DD/lg thing but I want to act out on this in public like I would do at home.

    Any advice???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never act out a gross kink in public. It's messed up enough in "your home".

      Delete
    2. That's not yours to decide. ;)

      Delete
  75. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  76. I would agree with everything but the 18+ plus thing. Like you said it doesn't have to be sexual, can be just for the happiness of the little.

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  77. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  78. Hello i am comoletely new to this i never herd of it untill my bf mentioned he was into it and told me what it was, a few days later he called himself daddy then asked if i liked that after i told him it gave me "butterflies" he asked if he coukdbe my daddy and i said yes. I think i fit into the little profile because i am childlike alot and always have been. I have yet to call him daddy or anything like it because i am shy. I am 17 almsot 18 and i do like the idea of ddlg and your post has truly helped me understand more. Is there any advice u can give to a very new little? We are not into it alot yet becayse he knows i am super shy.

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  79. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  80. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  81. Hi!
    I love your definitions! I am thinking about starting a site for littles.
    I know there are a few or there but none I fell in love with.
    If I do, would you mind if I posted a link to your site?

    ReplyDelete
  82. Wow.. have to be 18.. how about you Freedom hating Americans mind your own business.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The BDSM lifestyle strictly enforces that it's a safe, sane, and consensual practice. A minor, anyone under 18 in the US, cannot legally give consent. It's not just to sex but other "devious" acts. It is not discrimination, it's for your safety and adults' safety for creating and maintaining adult safe spaces. That's part of the reason why ALL official BDSM social networking sites are 18+.

      Delete
  83. I always thought of myself as submissive in the "normal" dom/sub way. But my new boyfriend calles me babygirl and I realized how much I like the gentle side of all of it. Then all the pieces of the puzzle fell together: I am over 30 but still love wearing semi cute frilly clothing. No pacifiers or nappies and all that but just looking lolita like and beeing taken care of .... it still weird to realize all this but it feels so good.... thank you for this nice read.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  85. "Please note that the DD/lg dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia."
    "No one is sexualizing children and the dynamic is not pedophilia."

    So you model your relationship after a father-child dynamic with a sexual twist and then you claim that it has nothing to do with pedophilia? Riiiiight. Coloring books, dressing up as a child, using language that is typical of a small child with their parent, but nope, it's not sexualizing children AT ALL. No relation to children whatsoever. It's like saying race play isn't indicative of racism or acting out rape fantasies can never be indicative of internalized or externalized misogyny. You have to be full of shit to act as if your kinks aren't informed by society in some way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you fail to realize that not every act in DD/lg is sexual nor is regression sexual. As I mentioned above I will not deny that there are people who tie in incest with their dynamic. And you know what? That's okay because they're consenting adults. It's none of your business.

      The rest of participants are normally adults with an affinity for living out their inner child. There's nothing wrong with non-sexual roleplay, especially since this is how some people choose to unwind with their partner after a stressful day. And again, this can exist as completely non-sexual activities. Calling someone "Daddy" or Mommy" full-time in the comfort of their home or their blog does not mean they actually see them as their parental figure or caregiver. It's simply a name.

      I happen to think it's silly that you came to this blog anonymously to shit on a dynamic that you clearly don't care to learn about. You simply want to shame others under the name of feminism, which is not what feminism as a whole is supposed to teach. Women can choose their own lifestyles. It's what we've fought for for the past 40+ years, mainly gearing towards equal treatment from men. You're defeating the movement's teachings if you feel the need to dictate another woman's life and take away her choices simply because you do not feel it matches your ideals.

      Delete
  86. That's is really post for cheap silicone dolls.

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    ReplyDelete
  87. Where can I ask questions to other littles or other bigs? I am a little and I dont have a lot of friends and i dont have a lot of social media. Please help?

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  88. My boyfriend thinks I have suppressed daddy issues because I treat him like a parent without even realizing it. He's only 7 years older than me but honestly I feel like I'm 8 years old more than I feel my real age (19). Sometimes I even misbehave to see if he will punish me. I'm still struggling with PTSD from the abuse I went through as a kid. I don;t know if a relationship is right for me because of this?

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  89. Why do you believe underage littles should wait till their 18? I'm not 18 and I'm alittle ( no daddy} , are you suggesting us underage littles need to wait?

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  90. So I'm 14 and a little. I know people usually think we should wait till we are 18 to participate and research, because you also believe since a tumbler trend that most 14 yr olds don't really understand what ddlg is really all about. I understand this and I do want to wait until I am of age to participate because I know that participating now will not help with the contriversy of the lifestyle. I want you to understand that I do fully understand all aspects of the ddlg lifestyle. I have always been a little and gravitating towards this lifestyle ever since I was a little girl. I truly understood what I was in 6th grade, i am a bisexual little girl, that's also apart of abdl. I've been researching it for years ever since I was 11. Research makes me feel more comfortable in my skin, it gives me confidence about who I am, and self reassurance. I have always struggled being proud about this part of me, I came out as bisexual to every one last year, but I've only told one person about being a little and tb, to my best friend only a few months ago. This is who I am, I didn't choose to be a little or a tb, just like I didn't choose to be bisexual, I was born this way and will always be this way. I can't control it. I would really like to be able to be apart of some group chats, just so I can talk to people like me. People who understand that when you are in a ddlg relationship that you are entrusting your life to your daddy dom, you are giving him your power in exchange for obedience and trust in them. I'll I want to do is talk. All the other "littles" I have meet around my age don't really understand it, they think you just call your boyfriend daddy and they do everything for you and you don't have to anything, and it comes with spanking and rough sex. I understand having part take in activities is a big no no because of my age, but I was wondering if there are any group chats that I could be apart of, one that is strictly non sexual, one that doesn't have bigs looking for littles, or little looking for bigs, just people talking about who we are. Thank you if you have taken the time to read this and are willing to respond.

    ReplyDelete
  91. I am curious..is there a site with personals/profiles that are searchable by age/location? I would adore a Daddy in my age bracket��
    Thanks!

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  92. what I see and I read on these pages makes me more to know, I'm very ber thank you all. from me alat bantu vitalitas buat pria.

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  93. I am a lil I have no age at all sometimes I like to wear diapers paci ,color,play with dolls and stuffys.I like having daily task.and reward charts

    ReplyDelete
  94. Don't you think it's abuse tho?
    For example just bend your girlfriend and spank her only because she took a shower without asking?
    I find it humiliating and abusive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find it exhilarating and empowering, so just the opposite of abusive. As a submissive I have the power to revoke my Dom's control over me at anytime if I feel unsafe or taken advantage of. I have the power of a safeword to protect me in situations where I feel like the pain or activities are going to far for my body or psyche to handle.

      The difference here is that BDSM is about control and consent, while abuse is about control through manipulation, physical harm, and complete disregard for the other person.

      Delete
  95. mostly came here because people were saying that DDlg was harmful and abusive but?? it doesnt look like that to me. Very informative blog, good job.

    ReplyDelete
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  97. hi so my daddy has been wanting to call me his "daughter" and i was just wondering what to do about it.

    ReplyDelete
  98. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  99. Is there any way to find other people without using fetlife? I'm a sex-repulsed asexual woman and from what I've heard fetlife is kinda unpleasant for people like me. I'm still trying to figure out where I fit, I think I'm a mix of a Big/Mommy and a mind control dom, with a bit of disability devotee thrown in? I'd like to try some stuff out with a consenting person, but I'm very nervous about it and would need to go very slow and figure out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would suggest trying other online communities. I know that Reddit has a blooming community and I believe they even have a Discord server now:
      https://www.reddit.com/r/littlespace/
      https://www.reddit.com/r/bdsm/

      There's also DDlgform and DDlgworld. These are forum-based communities that a less focused on the sexual-aspects of the lifestyle but are for consenting adults to learn, discuss, and make friends.

      There's also Kik groups. I don't know of any of the back of my hand because I personally don't use Kik anymore and it does have some downsides. Many of those groups are run by minors who have no business being involved in the lifestyle and endanger the lives of adults involved.

      Delete
  100. Replies
    1. Hi, this was extremely helpful! I was wondering if I could get your input on a website I just released for the ddlg community?? www.daddyslittlemunster.com

      Delete

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  102. My boyfriend called me a sexy dirty little girl last night while he was manually stimulating me. I saw on his tv search history "youth" and "princess" plus he seems to light up when he is around pretty young girls. Im afraid there might be some deeply repressed desires on his part that I've asked him about and he denies. I know hes attracted to me, and I have a curvy eomans body but I do look young and often act child like or free spirited. Things have gotten very serious lately. He was married for 10 yrs but sounds like she was almost asexual, and hes always been very vanilla. He says I'm kinky (tho my ex said I was vanilla) and we have talked about how that word means diff. things to us both bc of our past experiences. My biggest concern is if we have girls, that I would be worried for their safety, or if we have boys, they would somehow learn this weird energy that I cant put my finger on. If everybody is saying, pedo's arent attracted to grown women, how do you explain married men w children wjo molest their daughters, or other young girls?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have been reading a lot about the DD/lg dynamics, age play, dom/sub and more. I can see that this might be a good way to address my concerns w my bf and possibly make our sex even hotter. I know talking to him is the best thing im just not sure how. Ive tried to address it before but we were drunk and id like to have a sober, convo about it. He did say he has a fear of getting too friendly w ppls kids bc they might see him as the creepy dude, and i think that may also feed this fear that i have. Why is he worried about being creepy? I am not judging, im exploring, and any feedback ppl can give is welcome. Thanks :)

      Delete
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